What's right in your life?

My sister wrote about this and I wanted to write about it too, because as she has rightly said, by looking at all the right things it makes sure we stay happy and positive.
I have a fantastic husband, who is not only a great spouse, but also my best friend, support system and my best critic.
My parents are awesome folks, very supportive, liberal, open-minded, and I can always count on them for anything and everything.
My sister, who is very dependable and fun to be with.
My friends who are a fantastic lot and have been there for me.

I also feel things are "just right" for me because of ME as well! :-)
I am at a phase where I am at peace mentally, I don't get stressed out and I am now able to block unwanted things from bothering me, if not completely, at least 80% of the time.
Things are just right because even though I am now sitting at home without working and I am not worrying about my next job, next company and with nothing on hand, I was able to reject offers because it didn't hold too much appeal.
I have turned out exactly how I wanted to be... You know, when you are 16 and wondering how you will be in your 20's - I am how I pictured myself to be!
Financial independence gives you confidence and stability (I may be wrong here, but this is my experience). This my mom drilled into our heads from a very young age and this made sure we studied hard, worked harder and learnt to enjoy the freedom a job/salary gives you.
The fact that I can provide for my family, for their well-being... the fact that my sis still takes money from me for auto or because she didn't have enough cash on her, etc etc, even though she is working and she has a good job/salary is somehow an extremely satisfying feeling!!
Minor insecurities which seem so inconsequential now have vanished leaving behind a strong (emotionally), confident, happy (Touchwood), woman who is so ready to rock the 30's in a couple of years!!
Yep, things are just right, right now! :-)

A wedding - a Celebration

I had gone to Udupi over the weekend to attend my close friends' wedding... We worked together in my previous company and I was her "mentor" when she joined as a fresher...
She had invited the entire gang for her wedding, but only I actually made it with my husband...

Here's why this wedding was so special even to us, invitees -
Her hospitality was impeccable. She even called me on the previous day to make sure we reached Udupi and whether the accommodation she had arranged was alright...
The wedding was on 2nd, but there was a small get-together the previous evening, of just family and we had the privilege of being invited to that as well! The best part was, it was like an ice-breaker. There was lots of dancing, singing, teasing the new couple-to-be... Basically, it made sure that both families got together and spent time doing something fun so that there wouldn't be any awkwardness the next day.
The actual wedding was another revelation! It was a celebration! A joyous occasion which united 2 families together as well! There was dancing, a lot of laughter and teasing going on and in the midst of it all, the traditional ceremony took place and the 2 kids were married!

Now, when we talk about weddings, it usually all boils down to the food, which, I must say was delicious!!
On both days, the food was finger-licking good!

The best part was, there was no tension, no glaring animosity, no unhappy/serious faces. It was a wedding which symbolized love, laughter, celebration of life and most importantly, their folks made sure that the couple started off their happy life with some pretty awesome memories of their first leg of the long journey ahead!!! :-)

My list...

I did want to talk about what I like the most or even love... Here's my list in random order...

1. Cake. I have this thing about cake... I can't eat it all the time, but once in a while I have this craving for cake, and it will be satisfied only by the greasy sticky stuff one gets at the local bakery!

2. The silence of a Sunday morning. I always wake up 15 mins before my maid arrives and my husband will still be fast asleep. I sit on the floor/bean bag in the living room and read the paper quietly... This unknown to me has become a habit which I have grown to love

3. Cooking for my family. I love it when my parents tell me they loved the food, since both of them are awesome cooks

4. Shopping with my sis.

5. Eating Ice cream in the rain with my best friend V - he used to call me crazy but never stopped indulging me!

6. Climbing the steps of Chamundi Hills

7. My morning mug of tea/coffee/milk with my husband.

8. Bike Rides!

9. Gossiping about everything under the sun late into the night with mom and my sis.

10. Drinking coffee and reading a book sitting at a quiet table in Cafe Coffee Day

11. A walk along Kukkarahalli lake in Mysore

12. Holding hands and going for a walk with my husband - it doesn't matter where we are - it always makes me feel loved, special and peaceful.

13. Stepping out of the house after it has rained... I love the freshness in the air...

14. The satisfied feeling when everything goes well during a production install at work.

15. The smell of basmati rice being cooked...

16. Hot hot Gulab Jamoons! (Yummy!)

17. The silence in a Temple, its peaceful and calming...

18. Writing/blogging -it makes me think and it helps me connect...

Here's my list of a few things I have grown to like/love over the years. Do you have a list too?

Here's wishing all you dear bloggers and your families a very Happy Deepavali! :-)

I'm off to Mysore (yay!) tomorrow and will be back next week!
Take care and keep safe during the festivities :-)






(source: Google images)

Today is KarvaChauth

Apparently, today is KarvaChauth...
I didn't know. I did read a couple of posts here and here....

Now, I have nothing against festivals in general - I love dressing up, the food, sweets, the ambiance at home...

Now, Karva Chauth is one festival which I don't approve of. This whole fasting thing to pray for your husband's long life is something I don't get...

I googled the festival and came across some interesting insights - here are some snippets

" Karva Chauth is a fast undertaken by married Hindu women who offer prayers seeking the welfare, prosperity, well-being, and longevity of their husbands. Karva Chauth falls about nine days before diwali on the Kartik ki Chauth some time in October or November. It is the most important fast observed by the women of North India. A woman keeps such a fast for the well-being of her husband, who becomes her protector after she leaves her parents home. Her husband provides her with food, shelter, clothing, respectability, comfort and happiness.

This is indeed a very tough fast to observe as it starts before sunrise and ends after worshipping the moon, which usually rises at about 8.45 p.m. No food or water is to be taken after 4 a.m. or after sunrise. Nowadays, this fast is kept even in modern educated homes, becoming a symbol of the sentiment that a woman has for her husband. "

My objections to this festival are numerous:
- why should the wife only fast and pray for her husband's long life?
(I know lots of men fast along with their wives, but that's not my point here!)

- Why should WE suffer in order to keep the husbands happy?
(You know, staying hungry all day...)

- Why isn't there a festival for men to fast for their wives' long life and happiness?

- I don't understand the willingness to suffer for another person's well being
I mean, when you are sad/unhappy/hungry/cranky, how could the husband be happy??

The stories behind the origin of this festival are interesting and they vary from website to website ;-)
This particular website: http://festivalsofindia.in/KarvaChauth/Katha.asp
has a lot of interesting details about the festival and about other festivals as well if you are curious.

Wikipedia also has an interesting write-up about the same.

I know lots of women who celebrate this festival and some of them are dear friends and I don't interfere or tell them how I feel about the whole deal... I respect their belief and leave it at that...

But, this space is my own and here, I do want to tell that I don't approve of this festival at all

And most importantly, I will not disagree to any argument made pro-Karva Chauth because I personally can't relate to this festival...

But, all this said - I admire people who actually can fast thru the entire day without eating or drinking anything...

Right or Wrong?

right or wrong?

- To marry the man you had an affair with when you were still married to your Ex-husband?

- To tell your friend you love her/him even though he/she is married.

- The desire to see a person suffer just as much as you did, because that person was the cause of your sufferings?

- To be strong enough to tell a person they are not invited home because you know that if they do step into your home, they will ruin it.

- To say, you don't want to visit a dying relative because you prefer their healthy image in your mind to the sick one you might see...

- To break up a couple just so that you could be with her, because you love her so much?

- To break a person's heart after you promised them marriage just because he/she is from a different community and your parents said no?

What do you think?


Edited to add: Thank you for all your views... :-)
I received a couple of emails from friends asking me if anything was wrong..
No, nothing's wrong :-)
I was talking to friends and these topics came up, so posted them to know what you guys think about it.. and the responses though quite similar have varied and has been interesting as well!

Keep posting your views though! :-)

T20: the tag

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

Rayshma tagged me ages ago, so here goes!

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
I agree with Rayshma - the Don Corleone Method of taking out works for me!!!

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
Travel around the world...

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
O! I have a long list!! Do I put them all up?!!!
But, the first person would be my friend K - he is in Bangalore today and
he isn't coming home till evening

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Pay off the home loan, re-locate to a hill-station, keep the rest well-invested for good returns so that I don't have to work!!

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
Yep, been there and done that!! ;-)
(I married him too!!)

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved.. *sigh* and yea.. *I am so selfish sometimes!!*

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
Again, to repeat Rayshma's words - I only have to wait till he gets home for some of the love to *ehem* be shown!

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
Umm.. keep my mouth shut?!!

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
Better Sexual awareness - if that's a social cause...

10. What takes you down the fastest?
A cruel comment from my family and very close friends

11. what resurrects you the fastest?
Again, a big warm hug from my dearest husband

12. What’s your fear?
That I wake up one day and find my specs gone... (Yes, I am paranoid about losing my specs)

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Fun-loving, bright, talented, intelligent... I would love to meet her one day!

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Single and Rich?? I need the money!!!


15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
hug my husband and open the door to let the maid in!

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
I don't see myself falling in love with 2 people ever! UGH!!!

17. Would you give all in a relationship?
Yes.. But, again as Rayshma states - my individuality, self-esteem, dignity, personal space... these things stay with me

18. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
No grudges... But, no - I am not the forgetting types... forgive - maybe... but i don't forget.

19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
Both. A healthy mix of both is great.

20. tag 6 people.
I don't know if I have 6 people reading this post right now to tag them!!
But, if you ARE reading this and you want to take up the tag - then go ahead by all means!

PS: I haven't changed any of the questions either!

Updates....

Still very much here and yes, still very much at home too...
This whole period has been very relaxing and rejuvenating... It has helped my concentration levels, patience and on the whole I have been very peaceful with no turmoils as such on my mind...
The only thing I need to think about is - what to cook for dinner/lunch/breakfast!
I do have a couple of offers and I still have a few interviews lined up... But, this time I have promised myself that I will not hurry and make a decision... Though, you never know, the new company and project might end up being equally bad!
As a promise made to myself when I quit my job, I have been doing things which satisfy ME and help ME become a better person.

-> I have started going to dance classes again - bharathanatyam classes. My friend is teaching me and helping me remember. I am proud to say that I still dance well and my technique is still very good :)
The only thing I need to improve is my stamina and facial expressions...

-> I have started taking daily walks.

-> I meditate for 10 minutes everyday now. Its helping me concentrate and its really helping my back. This is also helping me get rid of all the negative feelings and bad vibes that I carried back with me from my previous job. I do hope to increase the time though...

We also went to Kodaikanal for 3 days and it was awesome!! We had a great guide and he took us to some awesome places... we did a lot of trekking! :-)

I do plan on putting up pics in my next post!

Awarded!

Swati awarded me the "million-dollar-friend" Award! YAY!
(*Doing the crazy, happy dance!*)
Here's what she says (so sweetly) about me: We share a bond beyond any words , again don’t ask me when how and why please.



She is so right by the way! She just knows somehow what I'm feeling, how I would react... The bond definitely exists... :)

I would like to pass this on to

Grail (of course!) - she is a beacon of light and a true friend... The only regret I have is, we don't live closer...

Swati - Giving it back to u, since as you said - the bond exists and I just can't explain it! You are a great friend!

Vicky - Well, we have been friends for a loooooong time and he also made sure I started this blog!

Last, but not the least -

My sis - You rock babe!!! A good friend and a terrific sister! :-)

A toast to all you terrific people!

What next?

Well, another job in a different company, I guess.

I'm enjoying this break. Seriously, sitting at home and doing absolutely nothing has its merits!
I also realised that I can't keep doing this - sitting at home thing.
I need to work and the fact that I would be working soon - in a different place is what's making sure I enjoy myself today...
I also realised that I need this time to clean out and empty my head and mind before starting out again, before stepping out into the big bad corporate world.
The things I've seen over the past 2 yrs have taken a toll and sadly, made me lose trust on basic human behaviour. The pleasure a person gets out of putting another person in trouble is something I have seen over and over again. Trust me, its not a nice thing - either to experience or to just see...
I saw careers and reputations being spoilt by malicious words of idle men. The insecurities of one person have made sure that an entire team lost out on opportunities...

Office politics are present everywhere. You see dirty, manipulative people in all walks of life.
But, this is the first time I've seen people derive perverse pleasure in ruining another person's opportunities just to satisfy their ego.
At the end of the day, the question that keeps repeating is "How do they sleep at night?"
And, will they be punished for what they did?
I hope so, for after all I am human.
And as its said by the wise people - "You need to pay for your mistakes here; during this lifetime, before passing on"
I really wish they would hurry up and pay for their dirty deeds, for as I said - I am human and a tiny part in me wants to see them squirm just like how I saw them make others squirm...

This whole ugly scenario needs to be drained out of my system; I wasn't happy there and I won't be happy anywhere else if these ugly shadows keep lurking around...

I'm going to take this break for what it is, a time to clean my mind, and to relax...

Poetic Adieu....

Friday was my last working day in the company I was working for. I got a really sweet farewell from my friends.
The farewell gift was thoughtful - I got a dinner set - from the entire team...
It was really personal because my friends thought it out and gifted what I really needed and most importantly loved.
What stood out was the personal gifts I received from 2 of my friends - they were new to the corporate world and the project and both of them faced really tough times with the same guy I was working with.
I helped them out with their work and more importantly I made sure their dignity and self-esteem didn't get trampled all over.
They needed all the help and support one can give and one of them - she is still working with that goober (It's not a real word, but it actually describes him best!)
I didn't realize how much they meant to me till they gave me "thank-you" gifts.
I have a new table clock, which I will keep on my desk at my new work place and the other is poem SA wrote, saying "thank-you. Here's the poem he wrote:

When life gives you a raw deal,
When you've just lost the zeal,
When wounds do an over-time to heal,
And you're lookin' for someone who can steal
the trauma away that you feel
There arises a noble soul
Shining brightly out of a tunnel dark as coal
who can pick up your pieces
And put you back again whole

Thank you Pixie for standin' up for me,
when there was more than I could take...
For getting me past the rough,
more importantly A!!(LOL!)
But we owe an ode to him,
and a toast to Hobbes and Calvin,
Else we wouldn't have bonded,
And seen each other through the thick and thin!

You rock!!


As, you can see, the poem left me speechless and also let me realise that I DID actually help these guys and this satisfied feeling makes up for all the crap I saw and went through in these 2 years... This humbled me beyond words...

I want to thank my friends - Sha, Shr, Shali, Che, M and Ne for being such great friends and for the awesome tea-breaks and conversations!!
I want to thank the poet - SA and Shee for letting me help them and in turn letting me help myself by strengthening
my belief in honesty and hard work and friendship...

It's my turn to say - you guys rock!



I am now jobless, sitting at home, taking a break for now, so You guys can expect at least 2 posts in a day!! :-)
(It's more of being in-between jobs)

Happy Weekend Folks!

Yes, I have spent the better half of my day - blowing my nose or cleaning my nose.
Apparently, I have the mother of all Colds... *sigh*
And my nose is so completely blocked that my friend - a friend who has been a friend for like 10 yrs (Does that make sense - a friend who has been a friend?) didn't recognise my voice when I said hello!
He was all polite like "Umm... May I talk to Pixie please?"
And I was like "Duh! It's me!! I have a cold!"
He was like..."Really? that bad??"
Which as you can guess, didn't make matters any better!!!
Well, the good news in - my husband will be back from his "Foreign" trip ...
And the icing on the cake is, my parents are also coming this weekend!

I am also carrying around a hankie and sniffing into it! Now, not that carrying a hankie is bad or anything, but people who know me, know that I'm not the "hankie-carrying-types"
We had this set of girls in school, you know, who took pride in their hankies... They were neatly ironed, sprinkled with perfume and delicately tucked into their school skirts with a strip hanging out with a picture on it - showing it off (you get the picture right?)
Now, these girls were the ones who were wooed by high-school boys and were teacher's pets...
Seriously, "wanna-be" types and the funny thing is - most of them are quite "normal" now!
You know, they have turned into "non-hankie-carrying-types"!

Well, I'm off now to clean my nose once again for like the 100th time!
Happy weekend folks and I really hope none of you catch the damn cold!!!

P.S :I have no clue why I wrote about the whole "Hankie-carrying" episode and if you are a hankie-carrying person - I really don't mean to offend you.

Too much? OK, will go now...

Edited to add : Will reply back to everyone's comments... But, I really have to get rid of this cold first! I am not a happy person with a blocked nose!!!

The weekend that was...!

And so, before another weekend descends upon us, I want to specifically mention last weekend's adventures. Yes, it was an adventure which was embarked upon by 3 brave souls, fighting against all odds, against sanity and plunging into the dark dark world of insanity...

What am I talking about? Here's the complete story...

The actual story starts on the 3rd of Sept when me and my friend G ventured into Planet M on Brigade to buy a couple of CDs...
As we were browsing thru the store, we come across a rare collection - a collection of 3 movies made by the one and only Sawan Kumar!
We were, naturally flabbergasted! Who would buy this dribble we questioned ourselves, giggled at the titles and storyline and walked on...
But, as I said, in order to plunge deep into the world of insanity, there should be some traces of insanity in your blood and unfortunately for us that day, we decided to buy the CD and watch all 3 movies at a go without taking a break!!
So, Saturday saw the 3 of us - me, my sister and G bravely sit and watch "SOUTEIN KI BETI"! Which roughly translates to - "The daughter of my mistress".
We left the world of sane people and plunged into insanity by watching this movie!!
I mean, what dialogues, what scenes - really mind-boggling as to how someone could actually make such a movie is beyond all comprehension!!!
Well, we enjoyed ourselves, by laughing, repeating those weird crappy dialogues...
Sometimes, rewinding to hear them again, because its kind of unbelievable that anyone can dish out such trash so convincingly!!!
I really wonder how established and beautiful actresses like Rekha and Jayaprada agreed to star in such a movie! And of course, the hero had to be Jeetendra!!

I did want to write the story out here, but that would have been sheer torture - to me, for writing it out and for you, my dear reader!! But, if you are a brave soul, then go ahead and watch the movie!
(Do let me know if you do!!)

ROFL!

A story to tell...

I have a story to tell, in which I paid a heavy price for being honest and sticking to my principles.

But, I'm scared to tell it now - it might harm me (I could be over-reacting now)

I will tell my story once things settle down again - for now - I'm riding the wave and going with the flow. I am happy that I did what I did and there is no place for sadness or regrets...

Pray for me that things will turn out for the better and that my efforts, however small they may have been or however insignificant it might have been, will definitely help others...

I do want to tell my story... but, I can be patient at this point of time in my life and wait maybe for a month or less before I write it here...

Without a Good-bye...

You walked away without saying good-bye. New horizons beckoned you and you walked
without turning back.
The only thread remaining now are memories of old times; which seem to bind us together.
If you had turned back, you would have seen your friends wave good-bye, praying for your success...
If you had turned back, you would have seen how far ahead you have walked and seen the footprints left behind; Footprints which walked side by side with yours...
If you had turned back, you could have seen the friends who would miss you the most...

So many questions left unanswered, a good-bye left unanswered...
Wishes unsaid and prayers left behind...

Why did you leave the way you did? Why did you leave without a good-bye?

One call; one reunion; one hug; one good-bye... all these would have made a world of difference
but they have been left unsaid and undone...

I wish you all the happiness and success you so richly deserve;
I wish you find your true love out there as well as you pursue your dreams of making it big...

But, I am selfish; I wish you would miss me as much as I do, if not more...

7 things I abhor!

Sachin tagged me to put up 7 things I abhor, so other than the 7 he has put up, here's 7 more!

1. I hate cockroaches... Ugh! they give me the creeps...

2. Spitting - on the roads, from a bus/car.. especially bus - you could be spitting ON someone considering how crowded Bangalore streets are!

3. Toilets not flushed!! Come on, if you are working in an MNC -the least you have, is a degree. Can't YOU flush a toilet?!!! Its utterly Gross when one walks into an unflushed cubicle!

4. People who say that a person who sits late is a better worker, is more dedicated than the ones who know how to manage their time and work!

5. Couples saying "we are pregnant" and the hubby holds the wife and rubs either her arm, neck or grosser - her tummy!..
Hello! People - its "we are expecting and my wife is pregnant"! And to add to this - guys doing the whole "pregnant" talk with other guys - like - my wife's knees are bloated now and she cant pee without help.. or the whole - "I know what's happening to MY baby in MY wife's tummy"!! We know YOU are excited, but seriously - pipe down!! WE Don't wanna know the gross details!!!

6. The whole "Arranged Marriage vs Love Marriage" debate!! Its enough to swear someone off marriage and its been beaten to death... Flogged, not beaten! Whether its love or arranged - the marriage equation is the same... the formula for a successful and happy marriage is THE SAME!

7. People wasting food on their plate... its a buffet - you can eat as much or as little as you want - so go moderate on the potions and go back for second helpings!!!

I feel so much better!!! :-)
Won't tag anyone specific... but, go ahead and take it up!! Its lovely to rant it off!!! :-)

Hello!

I'm still here!!! :-)
But, been very busy with work and stuff happening...
On the work front - as usual - lots to do and after I returned back from my sick leave, I have had a lot of work, with lots of staying back late happening...
My husband will be returning back next month, so that's good news as well :)
I also have been spending time at my sister's place - and we have loads of fun!! (Touchwood)
The shopping, eating out and cooking at home have been so much fun...
Also, I'm back in contact with a couple who are very old friends - we lost touch about 10 yrs ago and now, we are friends again... But, this past month, we have become better friends and not just acquaintances... So, that's been very nice as well...

As people in "Namma Bengaluru" know, its been pouring rain for the past week or more as well... so, going out in the evenings after work has been zero...
The worst thing is - Internet connection at home has conked out... So, its been a month since I actually read any of my favorite blogs as well... Have a lot of catching up to do!!!

I will write more later; I have loads of stuff to tell; but, I also have a deadline!

Did anyone watch the new Ranbir Kapoor movie? Is it worth a watch??

Down... but not out!

Hello! I am alive - sorry to have disappeared - had promised a couple of people emails - which weren't sent... the reason being - I was very sick - in bed for like 10 days with very severe viral infection - fever, chills, bad throat...
The worst part being - the husband is out of town again! I asked my mom to come over on Thursday - i.e. on the 26th, as soon as I realised on Wednesday - that I can't go on like this...
Mom was here for more than a week - took awesome care of me... (Thanks mom!)
Now, am on my own again - I don't have fever, but I do have a lot of tiredness... which really isn't a good feeling... But, managing... and am back to work after 7 days of leave as well...
Have to read all my favorite blogs still... will catch up slowly...
Still around - may not post regularly till my health gets better...

Tags... AGAIN!

Mandira from churningthewordmill tagged me to reveal secrets!!
So here goes a couple of them since like she says - secrets are secrets for a reason!!

1. I love fruits and prefer having a fruit bowl for breakfast than anything else.
2. I don't like contact lens and I think it makes my face look smaller than it is, if i wear contacts...
3. I get very irritated sometimes, without warning, even when my mood is supposedly very fine...
4. I don't know how to suck up to people.
5. I love wearing shoes - you know the "sports shoes" kind and until my birthday I didn't have a pair.
6. I am a self confessed Foodie. I love food and I love to try out new stuff - all vegetarian.
7. I am always punctual - even 5 minutes early sometimes and that never did look good when I went out on a date with anyone else other than my husband before marriage.
8. Reading, Music and TV always help me relax.
9. A pair of jeans and a couple of kurtas - that's my comfort wear and my preference.
10. I can survive on Curd rice and mango pickle...

I am not going to tag anyone in particular since most of you guys seem to have done this tag, but anyone who is willing is more than welcome to take it up!!!

2 topics... rants and an observation

WARNING: Long post!

These 2 topics have been to death by all the bloggers I read... opinions have been expressed very clearly by some of my favorite bloggers: Mad Momma, Chandni....

The first one is of course the dreaded "M" word or to put it blatantly - Your monthly periods...
I read the posts linked to MM's post (written so long ago by her!), there was her opinion stated very clearly, Chandni's anger (Can I take the liberty to say anger here?) and I also read Lavs post about how she supported the whole isolation thing...
Now, my 2 cents worth - let's just say - that we grew up with both acceptance and indignation over this weird practice...
My dad's family is pretty orthodox - which means lots of practices, "sitting separately" during periods - my granny used to say - u emit a bad aura during this time - so, because she had done some puja - she wouldn't be coming anywhere near someone having her periods!! Now, I actually don't know the whole story because I don't remember it and it had pissed me off so badly that I didn't listen to my mom repeating the story!! (read: repeating only! not advocating it!!)
When, we were in 6th - I remember my mom also used to practice this isolation for 3 days, though she hated it and it pissed her off big time - just because she didn't want to hurt my granny's sentiments (whatever!). But, as we grew up, i.e. it became more difficult for dad to manage with my half-hearted help and i wasn't following it, frankly because - we hadn't told anyone that I had started my periods at a very early age!
So, she stopped after a year or something, and my granny used to think that she practiced it even when she wasn't!!!
Dad agrees that it was/is totally ridiculous, but mom didn't go into the puja room during those 3 days - for hers and dad's sake... we sisters also didn't enter the Puja room during the 3 days as well - this is still followed without any fuss... but, I still pray to God during these 3 days, put my namaskaras as always... No one has said don't do that, don't touch this...
My grandparents, close family still don't approve that there we don't practice this isolation... all my cousins, cousins' wives, aunts all follow this practice...
But, no one dared broach this topic in front of my dad (they were basically scared of him and his decision was always the rule!!)... My dad never encouraged this practice, neither did he like it nor did he ever discuss it or let anyone else discuss it!! His reasoning has always been more scientific than religious for most matters. So, we grew up quite normally without "sitting" during period times!!!
But, I know plenty of women who follow this and I remember my dance class mate - R.
She actually thought she was "impure" and emitted "bad aura" during these times!!
Me and my friend Shasana - we used to listen open-mouthed to her words and me as always used to get enraged at her thinking and Shasana always used to tug my hand tell me to shut up and that its no point arguing about it! Because this thinking had been wired into R's brains!!!
Do I think its discrimination that women follow this - SURE... but not much can be done can it? ... why? its women who force other women to practice this!
First we as women need to stop discriminating ourselves, then we can ask the rest of the world to stop... the problem is at home first - fix it there and then talk about your work place, men, govt, world....
Stand up to your family first - that's the most difficult part. My mom always says - You know you are right in a difficult situation when you see that no one supports you outright!
Tell your MIL/FIL/SIL - that you don't practice it and if it hurts their sentiments so much - you wont visit them during these 3 days (I'm not saying this is any better, but its a step)
Make sure your husband supports you - that's in your hands how you learn to deal/manipulate/twist your husband!!!
You know, we had gone for a function at my aunt's place - now these people are very orthodox and all that... So, my sis-in-law has a son - this is how she reprimands him if she finds him playing with the broom - "put that down! you are not a girl"
See, this is the logic/thought she is feeding her 5 yr old son - now, don't tell me this doesn't matter!!!
When, sitting for lunch that day - I was hungry and my husband wasn't - so, he told me - you sit and eat, I will eat with your mom, sis in the next round... So, I got ready to eat - but, this sis-in-law of mine, stopped me and said - "what? you are eating before your husband?! don't be ridiculous! let him eat first" So, while I sat fuming silently and hungry, my poor husband was forced to eat when he wasn't hungry - he ended up feeling guilty that he was eating when I was hungry and with a bad tummy!!!!
So, could I have argued with her there - saying this is discrimination? Sure, but, what good would it have done?? I would have been the Witch there!!! I will avoid going to their place in future - that's about it... They will say - you are spoiling our daughter-in-law with your bad thoughts. Right. So, I will take my bad thoughts of equality and respect elsewhere.
These people believe that I had a horrible family because *gasp* I work and *gasp* *gasp* - my husband pampers me and listens to me!!!
But, there are others - my cousins - who have grown up in small towns, in difficulty - aiming for a life like ours - filled with independence and love... So, its nice to know that your influence on others is working - but, in small doses...
(the above real life incident doesn't have anything to do with Periods, but its been mentioned off-tangent as part of the discrimination thingy examples!)

***********************************************************************

The second is the whole "change your name after marriage thing"
Recently, a friend of mine, reformatted my resume saying that if I were to look for a job elsewhere, my resume needs to look better. Right, really appreciate the thought, but he changed my name to "Mrs. Pixe Husband-name"
Oh! This irritated me so.. much!! I asked him outright - what put you under the assumption that I have changed my name?
He asked me in an incredulous tone - you married, so your last name should be your husband's name! Why haven't you changed it??
I asked him - what the fuck are you talking about?? I am me! Before marriage/after marriage - I'm the same Pixie - my frigging name doesn't change and my husband is not my identity and I am my own individual!
He laughed and said "poor husband".
I told him - fuck off - my husband loves me and my name - he has not asked me to change it, he doesn't care about name changing and besides, that's MY decision - not anyone Else's...
He was surprised and said - no wonder you agreed to his proposal!

Why? Why does this small deed piss me off so much that I have used the F word on my blog!

This is my reasoning -
I am a separate individual and my identity comes from my parents - and not my husband.
We share a life and one day - share our love thru another human being - our child.
I am NOT part of my husband - we SHARE. We have come together and created a world of our own together.
He has not made this world/life for me. He is NOT MY LIFE. He is PART OF MY LIFE. A LIFE WHICH JUST GOT BETTER AND BETTER BECAUSE HE IS PART OF IT.
My friend laughed at me and told me there is no point in arguing with me.
Yes, we are not speaking to each other now.. I am too pissed to talk to him. I also canceled the dinner invitation I had extended to him...
Go on, call me childish if you want. But, I am like this only!
Another friend said - just because you change your name to your husband's doesn't change the person you are. I just couldn't explain to her how important my name is and how much part of my identity my name is... I am really unable to put my feelings into words about this - my name.
My cousin changed his wife's name to something to start with A because his name starts with A. I still call her - by her name -the one her parents kept. That pisses off everyone in her family! (yes, the same sister-in-law I was talking abt earlier in the post)
Gwad, I seem to have attached too much importance to people I don't even remotely like!
I'm gonna stop talking about them NOW.


Kannada speaking/understanding readers of my blog: Have you heard the songs from the movie - "Aramane"? Awesome songs!! :-)

That's signing off on a cheerful note after all the ranting!!!

Edited to add: My thoughts about the entire Periods isolation thing -I wrote what I saw and grew up with - I think its ridiculous to say that one's "impure" and u emit bad "aura" during your cycles...
I don't know - maybe I was off-tangent, but elders sentiments shouldn't be hurt - but, there is a limit as to what you need to deal with... and what works for your family doesn't necessarily work for others. So, forcing one to follow certain things - in the name of sentiment - that's emotional blackmail.
Alright, will stop here now! This topic has been beaten to death enough times!! :-)

What's in an AD?

People travelling on Hosur Road in Bangalore - have you seen the latest billboards put up as part of the advertising campaign for apartment developer?
The Ads read in bold "Bitch about your colleagues"
There's one more which says "Act like a Monkey" and written below "Enact your boss and keep your friends entertained" (something along those lines anyway)
My question is, is this good advertising? Is it good to actually and continuously "bitch" about one's colleagues? I know, we all do it - on some scale - we talk about them, make fun of them... But, isn't that bad practice? How can we work together in a team if we don't bother getting along with them?
Won't all the constant bitching create bad vibes and bring about a mental block about a certain person? Will it not become difficult to work with such people?
I'm not saying - I don't do this - but, I do try to keep it minimum and complain mostly on this blog or in front of family and not "entertain" my friends with stories about the boss!!
Is, such advertising encouraging the bad practice? Is it making sure team work becomes non-existent? What do you think?
go on and do leave comments! :-)

And the AWARD goes to.....

ME!


Grail just bestowed upon me the highly prestigious "Nice" award...
Thank you thank you *bowing*

Grail's right - Nice Matters and I'm nice :-)
It's official people! I'm NICE - Grails says it as well : -)


I pass it along to my very dear Sis, Rayshma and Galadriel
:-)

Just for you....

I thought I had loved before... I thought I knew what love meant and felt like;
But, you came along and showed me that love wasn't just roses; you said that the thorns must prick so that You can be given a chance to fix it;
You taught me that love is perseverance and permanence.
You said it was supposed to be strong and grow with each passing day;
I believed what you said and held your hand and crossed the road; You made sure our hands were held tight and that we crossed safely without any mishaps...
Our love has grown with each passing day and it's grown stronger;

We have held hands and crossed some of the most sensitive issues with aplomb;
I am glad I reached out when you asked me to and learnt to trust you...
I am glad that we have many more such roads to cross and that our love and commitment to each other will be tested...
I know that each test will be passed and each lesson learnt with nothing but love and trust and friendship...
I am glad that you are not only my husband, but also my best friend...

Stolen Tags!

Now, both these tags have been "stolen" and since an anon reader commented that all I do is talk about me - I'm just doing that!!! ;-)
Picked this up From Swati! 5 things I do as soon as I get home:
1. Open the door, remove shoes/sandals and drop my purse and dupatta (if I'm in a salwar) on the chair.
2. Wash my feet and face and drink water and bow in front of God for a couple of mins while my husband lights the lamps...
3. Get things like vegetables etc ready for dinner
4. Switch on TV/Laptop (for music/Internet)
5. Chat with my husband as he helps me get dinner ready.
*************************************************************************************
Now, the "What's-in-your-handbag" Tag from Chandni:
The bag I'm carrying today in specific is 4 yrs old and what's in it -
- 2 lipsticks
- Vaseline
- comb
- various receipts from credit card payments
- bills
- one SN
- hand purse - clutch-type
- Sodexho food coupons
- one photo of Raghavendra Swami and one Lord Krishna
- One cross with a chain
- Menthos - not mint - fruit flavoured
- Some weird chocolates I got as change
- one Nora Roberts Novel (I know! but, I was desperate for a diff read... sigh - its pretty bad)
- 2 pens
- Johnson & Johnson face cream
- one glitter pen
- a rubber band
- house keys
- A bindi packet
- some change
- a bracelet (I'm wondering how this bracelet got into this bag now!)
- a couple of very weird/scary passport size photos of me!
- A few recipe printouts - one for Aloo Methi and the other for Kesar ka Pulav


There! Doing this was nice :-)
Anyone who wants to pick it up is more than welcome! :-)

...?

I don't understand body-art... Extra ear piercings, nose piercings, permanent tattoos...
I don't get any of that. My friend has gotten her nose pierced, it looks good though - she is so excited about it... I wish I knew why.... *sigh*

Can't think of a title for this post...

So, I have a bone to pick with our Film Industry. See, I'm not specifying its Bollywood, Tollywood, Kollywood etc... Some of the salient points include:
This is very evident with our South Film Industry, but not absent from "bollywood" either!

-> The heroine HAS to be beautiful i.e.fair with straight hair even though the hero looks like a character straight out of the "Scary Movie" series!

-> The heroine's voice can't be normal or regular like our voices - she has to have a high pitched "girly", squeaky voice... while the hero can't even pronounce the simplest of words properly.

-> There has to be semi-nude dancers in the background with huge tree-like thighs dancing away like there is no tomorrow - dressed in half sarees when the lead couple are dancing in jeans!

-> The most important story-line - "Taming of the shrew" - the heroine has to be "taught" her place and she goes all demure and bows her head in reverence in front of the hero, grateful that she has now learnt the most important lesson in her life - "to serve the scary looking hero and his family" wearing either silk sarees or chiffon sarees with orange flowers in her suddenly long hair!

-> The most famous story-line: - Rich girl falling for the poor mechanic and leaving her family and living in his one-room house happily!
I mean, how can this happen? Can't we have slightly realistic movies? Would you fall in love with a greasy mechanic? No! Maybe the garage owner's cute son who drives a Mercedes, but not the mechanic who fixes up your 2-wheeler!!!

-> Also, what's the drift when you represent urban Indian youth in skimpy clothes and fast cars/bikes? Don't fully dressed people who take the bus to work represent the India of today? Are Fully clothed people not Urban??

-> Brands - now, that's a different story all together! Aren't people who don't wear branded clothes not urban or stylish?!
Now, don't pick the bone with me here - I love them brands too - they burn holes in pockets faster than a candle melting!
But, tell me - wouldn't you look equally good in an ensemble which doesn't have to be branded?! Which actually doesn't cost half your salary?!!

->And the affairs, why, don't people who live in Mumbai, Delhi not live monogamously anymore?

What picture are we painting here? What are we showing our children? That affairs are common, marriage isn't permanent and you need to wear skimpy/branded clothes to be popular, happy and stylish??!!

E-mail conversation - 1

I am not really sure how this thread of conversation started, but start it did and then both of us thought - what the heck - let me blog it!
All this started with the "good morning" mail that I received, which I forwarded to him.
Here goes,
Vicky: good morning! about people loving others for how they make them feel... it is true?
but after marriage I think who they are also starts mattering.... is it?

Me: Sometimes it matters… but, you have married the person for better or worse – so u need to
keep communication lines pretty much open If that can’t be done – the last resort is to opt out of a marriage – again here, it matters how the other person makes u feel. If, she/he is always putting you down, humiliating you – then again – how you feel comes into the picture…

Vicky: yes, u are right...

Me: yeah, it is important to note that things might be better or worse and u need to stick
around...

Vicky: I guess it is love that keeps us going whatever may come...

Me: It’s also respect – for self and the other person.
Even if you love the person – and the other person doesn’t respect you –
you can’t stay in such a relationship – that’s humiliating

Vicky: yeah.... respect... When I met this gal who said 'my parents would not approve' .
I suddenly lost all respect even though everything else seemed perfect... from there
on it was downhill!!
Just yesterday this friend with whom I was supposed to meet up for dinner said
that her dad would completely go into psychopath mode if he found out it was
a guy she was with and so she had to go home before 9pm. She is 26.
She is not ready to softly talk to her parents about it.
I actually was OK with dropping her off too, safely...
but dropping off is the most dangerous thing with respect to the daddy... even I had to
face the same situation when my mom was here but after gathering a lot of courage
I talked about how i needed to stay in touch with people i liked...

Me: Yea… But, 26 is a bit too old to be staying at home also…
I’ve decided I’m kicking out my kids once they are done with their education –
even sooner if they get into college in far away cities!
They need a life/space of their own… I’m so glad my parents told me to get a job in
Bangalore and move out!!! Same for my sis!
It’s not that they don’t love having us home –
but, they love the fact that both of us are bright independent
women with a mind of our own!

Vicky: LOL!! True…

Me: Possessiveness is good, but it shouldn't’t be destructive...

Vicky: Exactly, real love is also about knowing when to let go...
beyond a point growth is not possible if you do not leave home...
It's the reason no.1 I left home... and Yeah I too will kick my kids out... LOL!

Vicky: Pixie, I realise some of our conversations are memorable but we forget it once we delete
our mail archives, which is why i feel we should blog some of them... we need to read
them many years later and feel good :)


There you go, Vicky! Blogged it - so that we won't forget the early morning gyaan we shared with each other thru e-mail with a cup of hot coffee beside us and deadlines gathering dust!

Again, its all about ME! :-)

Like this Blog isn't all about ME! heh!
Swati tagged me and she also said, I would take it up first! She is so right!So, here goes,
Last Movie You Saw In A Theater: Gaalipata (Kannada Movie)
What Book Are You Reading: The cell by Colin Forbes
Favorite Board Game: Monopoly
Favorite Magazine: Filmfare, Cine Blitz, Femina, Outlook, India Today, Cosmo...
Favorite Smells: Fresh Coffee, Perfume - Elizabeth Arden
Favorite Sound: TV! The instrument - Veena, the sound of Bharathanatyam anklets
Worst Feeling In The World: Inadequacy
What Is The First Thing You Think Of When You Wake? God, Gimme a good day again please
Favorite Fast Food Place: Chat Street in Mysore/ there's this really awesome Samosa/Jilebi place near my house - it doesn't have a name...
Future Child's Name: Aditi, Pallavi, Anirudh (the list is endless and sometimes keeps changing!)
Finish This Statement. "If I Had A Lot Of Money I'd...” Pay off the home loan?!
Do You Drive Fast? Yep! :-)
Do You Sleep With A Stuffed Animal? Nopes - used to as a kid!
Storms-Cool Or Scary? Scary!
What Was Your First Car? I'm thinking big - A Ferrari maybe? :-)
Favorite Drink: Water, Fruit juices... Wine
Finish This Statement, "If I Had The Time I Would .....” Continue my Dance lessons...
Do You Eat The Stems On Broccoli? No , I don’t eat Broccoli
If You Could Dye Your Hair Any Color, What Would Be Your Choice? Brown...
Name All The Different Cities/Towns You Have Lived In: Mysore, Denver, Bangalore
Favorite Sports To Watch: Cricket
One Nice Thing About The Person(s) Who Sent This To You: We agree on most things, I really like the way she thinks...
What's Under Your Bed? Nothing? Cockroaches sometimes *shudder*
Would You Like To Be Born As Yourself Again? Sure, but there are other people on that list as well! ;-)
Morning Person Or Night Owl? Depends really - on what day it is, my mood... you get the drift!
Over Easy Or Sunny Side Up? Sunny side up (this is how you like your eggs right? i don't eat eggs, but sunny side up sounds nice!)
Favorite Place To Relax: My Bed - with a good book
Favorite Pie: Apple!
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Chocolate
You pass this tag to -
Galadriel, Rayshma, Grail, Wisegirl, Cantaloupe's Amma
Of All The People You Tagged This To, Who's Most Likely To Respond First?
Galadriel, Rayshma, Grail, Wisegirl, Cantaloupe's Amma (See, I'm hopeful!) AND anyone else who wants to take it up! :-)

*Enjoy Maadi!*

Ten things I wish I could tell people right now

1. I love you and see my life with you - let's take it forward and not stagnate.

2. Your friendship means a lot to me...

3. You are an asshat, I wish I had never laid eyes on you - let alone meet you. You are the lowest scum in this Universe and the next

4. Children are important, but only when you want them and not at the cost of a marriage.

5. We shared an amazing friendship and I regret to see how much that has changed over the years, I wish we had never lost touch. It's not possible to make up for all the yrs gone by

6. You rock! I will miss you when you leave next yr for your MBA

7. You guys are the best set of parents a girl can have. Thank you for your support

8. You suck! I hate you and your voice and your tone and the fact that you think that I can't handle responsibility better

9. Go home. Sitting late only flattens your ass! and does nothing good for your health

10. I am being bad today, but I really wish you would grow up and see that this is for our good.

11. You are an amazing friend and I really hope you meet the guy who loves you for who you are.

*OK, so its 11 things!*

Just like that...

Picked this up from Galadriel:
I AM: A nutcase in more than one way!
I WANT: to lose 5 kilos
I HAVE: to make sure my inbox has NO unread mails at any given point of time
I WISH: for a better job
I HATE: hypocrites and cockroaches
I FEAR: losing my loved ones...
I SEARCH: on Google. (couldn't think of anything else!)
I WONDER: How I will be in another 10 yrs down the line
I REGRET: having quit learning Bharathanatyam
I LOVE: raindrops, ice creams, coffee, curd rice and mango pickle
I ALWAYS: get hurt easily
I AM NOT: ugly, or stupid or dumb or...
I DANCE: well and when I'm happy
I SING: badly and off-key!
I CRY: often! Even rain can make me cry sometimes!
I WRITE: because I love writing!
I WON: plenty of dance competitions in College
I AM CONFUSED: about a lot of things...
I NEED: a cup of good coffee when I'm stressed out.
I SHOULD: probably quit this job, get another
THE LAST THOUGHT I GO TO SLEEP WITH IS: thank you God for the day that was and the
maid will come at 6! Damn!!

It's 3:15 AM

What makes u care for a person?
Why does it tug your heart strings so much when they are unhappy...
Why do you feel guilty that the person is unhappy and you keep thinking at the back of your mind that you are also a cause for the same...
Why do feelings so successfully kept hidden surface to cause so much turmoil within oneself?
why do people to whom you have said good-bye come back and say that the good-bye was never meant to be?
Why is it so easy to care for that one person, who should have always been a friend only?

And How does all this make you sure that the one person in your life now - is the only person who should be there?
Why is that when you close your eyes, you see the only person who has always been by your side, the one you recognise as your husband?
Does this make one's relationship stronger?
Whatever be the issue - when I close my eyes today - I see You, my dear husband... I see your smile, feel your breath and and feel your hug
Why is it that I feel, that it was always meant to be like this only and nothing else??



P.S: Not sure if I'm making any sense with this... But, I miss my husband, which is ridiculous because he is in Mysore for a day and it's 3:15 AM and I'm not sleepy at all... and if I manage to stay awake for another 4 hrs, my maid will come!!