My Engagement Story:

Grail did a great post on one of her friend's popping the question to his sweetheart and she goes on to ask "what's your engagement story?"
Since mine was a bit out of the ordinary, I thought I'd do a post on it!
So, here goes -
It was a day after my birthday and we decided to visit the Chamundi Hills - the temple to be more specific, because we couldn't go the previous day!
So, we have a great time as usual and while we were returning back, the conversation went to how my parents were looking for an "arranged" match and that none of the guys were good enough and basically all of them were morons!
The conversation that happened next is something I will never ever forget!

Me: Compatibility, understanding, trust, the ability to make conversation, love etc etc are all very important! I can't marry a guy just because he is settled in a different country and earns in Dollars and not Rupees!

After a couple of minutes of silence... (Remember, we are still ON the bike going back home!)

Hubby: So, then... will you marry me?!
Me: Huh?!!! WHAT?!!!
I'm stunned into silence...
( We were planning on going to Coffee Day before going home )
Me: Take me home! I don't wanna go to Coffee Day...
Hubby: Hey! I was joking! don't take it seriously... You will see the fun side of it after you have your coffee...

I'm silent... and we arrive at Coffee Day and place our usual orders. After the coffee arrives,
I ask him - "You were serious na? Your question, I mean..."
He looks at me and nods.
We pay the bill and I say I need time to think about it!
(I know! I was so mean to the poor guy and he told me he couldn't think straight for the next couple of days!)
The next 2 days, I'm furiously thinking - not sure about anything AND to top it, I avoid the poor guy!
Then, I told my sister - she was shocked that I hadn't said YES immediately... she told me that would be the best thing to happen EVER!!!
So, after that, I call him up and he is neck deep in work with some critical issue on hand!
I say - "You remember that question you asked me that day? My answer is yes!" and I hang up!!!!!!
Man, I was such an idiot!!! LOL

We met the next day, talked it over and held hands (You know, in that special way and not how we usually hold hands with friends!) and took a long walk and ate pani puri!
The feeling was so special and still is and from that day on till date - I go to sleep with a smile on my face knowing that the special feeling will never go away whatever may come... I know that he is really special and a great guy! :-)

We told our parents later on and then the formal engagement ceremony was held on an auspicious day and we were engaged with rings being exchanged etc etc with every one's blessings! :-)

This is my story, so do you have one too?

My weekend was GOOD :-)
What was extra special was - my sister's best friend had come down for a visit and he discovered a great book store and urged me to check it out. So Sunday evening, hubby and I set out and the book store is awesome! It's not like Crosswords or Landmark, its got second-hand books too and there are books by every imaginable author!
The entire first floor is lined with books, the shelves touch the roof and its overflowing with books!
*Sigh*... it was like I died and went to heaven! I picked up a couple of Agatha Christies'. I love her books - now, I have been reading her from when I was a teenager and I still haven't got bored with them - a good juicy mystery in the afternoon with a steaming mug of coffee -
bliss! :-)
Also, after battling with myself for weeks, I finally went ahead and pre-ordered my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!
Now, I don't have to go around battling Bangalore's traffic and scary crowds to get myself a copy!
Also, what's with the "young ones" now-a-days? I mean the early 20s crowd?
Most of them I saw were rude, badly behaved and have no proper manners nor are they very hygienic...
I saw some really weird types on Brigade Road on Sunday! LOL!! I was gaping around like a kid in a toy shop!
Other than that, the week has been steady - I haven't sat idle nor have i been neck-deep in work. The pace is steady and I had a discussion with my manager and he says that I will be shifted to new things. I am very excited about the change of roles and here's wishing me luck that I do it well and it goes well for me too!
Cheers to friendship, love and life! (Not necessarily in that order!)

My thoughts...

It’s really nice to see the new breed of men – who are understanding, fair and who know that their wives’ are humans too and that feelings are the same be it with a man or with a woman – injustice and harassment are things which can’t be forgiven.
It’s nice to see them standing up for their wives without any hesitancy for they have the capacity to judge what is right and what is wrong… But, sadly this new breed of men is scarce! The “need to dominate my wife” category are still the majority.

Now, what's making me say all of this and more? Here's why:

I was blog-surfing as usual and as I hopped from one blog to another - similar kind of posts caught my eye - they were either male-bashing or praising them to the skies... (Mind you, these are none of the blogs which I read regularly!)
There was no balance.
I read somewhere as to how helpful the husband was and how understanding and how well he got along with her parents etc etc... Isn't that what is actually required? I mean, if you, as a woman is expected to stretch an extra mile or 2 for your husband's family, isn't he expected to do the same? Why is it considered so great?

It made me think and I spoke to a couple of my married friends, thought about what they had to say, saw weird examples in some of my cousins' lives and here goes those thoughts:

** Once married, the girl is expected to leave everything behind her - her parents, comforts, friends, and the life she had carved for herself and adopt herself completely to her husband's life, his parents, friends etc.
Why? Can't they meet half-way? If you as a man can't let go of your parents to whom you are so grateful for their care, upbringing, health etc, why should a girl give up the same things?
** If the guy's parents are not well - she is expected to take care of them, but if her parents are not well, then why can't she take care of them? Please tell me, how different the equation is?
** The in-laws assume they have the automatic right to abuse the new girl in their house, word- bash her parents and full family and she is expected to keep quiet!
My blood boils over when I hear and see such things!!
If the lady in question takes a stand and keeps her head up high and says that you can't get away with such rubbish, then she is immediately termed as "bad",
BUT if the girl's parents dare to make the same mistake as to utter one word against the GREAT son-in-law, it is his right as a man to severe all ties with his wife's family!!
Isn't this hypocrisy at its heights and isn't the girl being subjected to harassment?
** When I discussed the same with a friend, he said as a woman you are expected to behave in a specific way and as a married woman, certain things are expected from you.
What kind of crap is that?!!!
** 1+1 is always 2, it is never anything else. So why is a woman "expected" to behave in a completely different way?
** The guy helps out the wife at home, that's something very normal for both of them – the husband and the wife, then why does the guy's mother raise such a huge cry and go around complaining to anyone who bothers to listen that the daughter-in-law doesn't do anything, but her son does!! Especially when at home, the guy's father helps out too!!!
** Why is it that her income is the "additional pocket money" which is for trivial things like "shopping”??
** What makes you think that the love she shows for the guy will make her keep quiet about any injustice that happens to her because of her in-laws?
** What happened to equal-footing and quotes like - "my wife is an individual and she can do what she wants?" - Does that mean, she can do as she pleases as long as she doesn't cross some weird line drawn by the husband?
** And what is this constant need to dominate and control the wife syndrome?? Is this due to low self-esteem? And you being the mother, another woman - how can you teach your son to "control" his wife else she will go "out of hand"??
WTF does that mean???
** If a woman is "expected" to behave in a certain way, why doesn't it hold true for a man too? Why indecent, dominant and irrational behavior is justified and why is the excuse given that because he is a man he can get away with such behavior!

All you moms out there with cute boys – please make sure that you try your best to make sure that your cute boy turns out to be a smart man who will love, support his wife and when you become an in-law remember to treat the girl with respect – only then will she learn to respect you.

All you ladies, men out there, if you have good, decent in-laws hold onto them...
It’s always a give and take equation and as the elder one in the family, its your duty to teach the youngsters about individuality, respect, space, privacy and most importantly to trust and respect your spouse…
I mean, it's our parents at home who taught us right? (Grandparents included too!)

Remember that the girl is new to all this - just as you are. A girl isn't born into this world with a Masters degree in Matrimony!

Also remember to appreciate, love your spouse and more than anything else - support them when they are right and correct them if something is wrong!

Most importantly, always remember that a relationship is fragile and once broken; the cracks will always show...

I am Back!!!

Hello to everyone in the Blog world and out of it!!! ;-)
I am back after almost 10 days of vacation and you guessed right - I am bored and sleepy!
Trying to get some work done and I checked my mails - 200 and odd of them!
Well, sadly, none of the "weird" relatives turned up and the ceremonies went on well without any hiccups except the food turned up an hour late and everyone were hungry and me hungrier than the rest since I had no breakfast!!!! ;-)
I did look kind of pretty in the silk sarees and jewellery! (that's what my friends said and friends usually say nice things and I'm such a sucker for nice things!! heh!)
Well, after everything was done and good-byes were waved to my favorite aunts and uncles and in-laws, we were just the 5 of us - me, hubby, sis, parents...
(My parents stayed for almost a week to help us settle in and look out for an apartment for my sis as her office is in the opposite direction to where we live!)
We shifted the next day and that was again chaotic which ended with my sweet-tempered and usually patient husband blowing his top on the movers-and-packers!! They arrived 4.5 hrs late and demanded extra payment!!!
Chaos has set in - I fear permanently!!!
** I am still not able to find things... everything had a designated place at our previous home, here, my toothbrush is lying on the dining table and the paste is in the bathroom!!!!
** Bathroom fixtures are yet to be put up and all our bathroom taps leak!
** It's funny really and very irritating - the plumber did come and he did replace a lot of things, so now instead of just the tap leaking, water is leaking out of the wall behind the tap since he hasn't screwed the tap on tightly!!!
** The geyser had stopped working on Saturday! We waited for the damn electrician the whole day - he didn't turn up and the next day, we re-plugged it in and now its working fine!
(Weird really!!!)
** Our front-doorbell doesn't work - it seems that the connection hasn't been given, so who ever is turning up at our door step gets a chance to beat the hell out of the door in various tunes!!
** The best part is the wind howls like crazy and the weather in Bangalore has gone all weird and cold, so with all the doors and windows closed - one can actually hear the wind howling and that's scary at night!!!!!
** Our neighbours have a weird habit of playing with their lights at the middle of the night, so with the wind howling, lights blinking - I had the scare of my life more than once!!!!
** And still NO internet at home!
**AND I fell sick!!! (Change of weather, lots of stress, etc etc)
All said and done - I love our new place! Enjoying it and still chaos reigns.
A very experienced friend of mine said that it will take a month or more to get into an established routine and I am already waiting for that day to arrive
Will post some pics once my friend sends me some of the pics, its all there in her camera and she hasn't found the time to transfer it to her PC and send them to me! :)
I still have to read all my favorite blogs and I'm lagging behind on all my work! (Which is bound to happen if I'm blogging and surfing the Internet on my first day back in the office!!)

Edited to add: Rayshma reminded me that I had forgotten to add THE most important part - the Gifts!! So, here's the list:
** A maroon 3 ft tall Flower Vase from my best friend because I love having flowers in all the rooms in the house!
** A pair of silver lamps for the God's room
** Lord Ganesha and Goddess Saraswathi in Silver
** Cash from my favorite aunts, grandma
** Tulsi plant, Lord Krishna's idol from my parents
** 2 wall clocks
** A dinner set in glass (you know the kind which is actually glass and not crystal)
** A set of dessert bowls in crystal
** Cash from various other relatives
** A tray and 2 bronze horses (I am confused about this gift and we are yet to figure out what it is...)
** Lord Ganesha Idols... (I think we received 3 of them! I have so many now!! I love it!
Laughing Buddha and Lord Ganesha Idols fill my home! :) )
** Various other trinkets for the kitchen like tea, coffee, sugar holders, salt and pepper holders...

That's the list! I think I have remembered to mention everything!
That felt good too!!! :)
Thanks Rayshma!

On Vacation!

Hey people!!!

I'm off for a week - vacation which includes the house-warming ceremony for our new apartment and shifting to our new place and settling in...
I don't think we will be having Internet access at home, since we need to get our present connection removed and we need to apply for a new one... So, it's a week without Internet...
(*sob* - life can be so difficult at times!! *sob*)
The weekend is going to be filled with various poojas, other religious ceremonies to ward off all sorts of evil and bad omens! :)
It will also mean - no breakfast before the actual ceremony, since its going to be performed by me and hubby (and the priest), wearing huge, heavy silk Sarees, lots of sweating because of that!
The difficulty will be the - no breakfast part!
(I'm already feeling faint and whenever I am told I have to forgo a meal, I get more hungry!)
It will also mean - a weekend with weird and obnoxious relatives...
Irritable and know-it-all types...
The list is endless!!!
It will also mean - gifts, friends coming over! (I'm shameless about the gifts part!! hehe)
The best part is my parents might be staying on for about a week, since my sister also starts working in the next couple of weeks :)
So, bye for a couple of days... God Bless you all and hope you are all in Good spirits, health and are happy!!!
I will be back with weird stories next week - around Friday! Till then, cheerios! :)

Eating habits!

This is not a post in which I am speaking against non-vegetarians!
No, it's not a post which is not giving due credit to meat...
If you think its so, then its your fault.
This is a rant post about the food habits of certain people, who think that they are beyond all sorts of social norms - especially the "eating properly" norm.
I have lunch in the office cafeteria everyday... There are a couple of good ones and one or two which are terrible.
The place I like to eat, also serves meat.
So, you get all sorts of people who like to come there and eat since the food is usually not too spicy and oily.
But, my grouse here is about the people who eat meat - maybe chicken, fish for lunch.
They forget that they are sitting in close quarters with others and most of them don't have any manners.
They rip the meat off the bones, make weird noises while eating and worst of all use their hands to eat the meat - even though spoons, forks, knives are provided in plenty!
Eating by hand is part of our culture and most of eat using hands, but even with hands, one can be neat right?
The persons sitting next to or in front of such people are usually in for a hard time!
It's usually like watching Discovery or the National Geographic Channel in which they show Lions, Tigers, and other carnivorous animals pounce on their prey, rip the meat off and eat it!!! Why can't meat be eaten properly?
I have friends, who eat so neatly and the bones are kept aside very neatly, so that no one else feels icky just by looking at their plates!
I mean, when the food is wasted, it looks like some sort of animal went thru the meat and left the remaining for the crows and rats to feast on...
The talk and the chew is always loud!!! Maybe, they are trying to connect to their prehistoric ancestors!!!
I'm not saying all vegetarians eat very neatly, no they don't. You will find plenty of people stuffing food in their mouth, using their hands and spilling rice everywhere!
But, it looks much more gross when meat, rice and the gravy is seen spilt, stuffed into faces and are completely oblivious of the distraction they are creating!!!
Being educated and working in corporate companies means you need to maintain and follow certain norms - one of them being - eat properly - use spoons and fork and what-not!
So, that your face doesn't go green or purple with all that stuffing!!!
We need to be sensitive to others in such a huge culturally and geographically different environment.
Strict vegetarians usually don't even sit with people eating meat, they don't visit restaurants where meat is served.
One can't complain about it or say its wrong - that's how different we are as Indians...
It's difficult to eat when such people are around and it certainly makes me lose my appetite...
My solution? - go early before the predators attack the canteen and finish fast with my head bowed down and me not looking into other people's faces or plates!!
But, its still yucky!
Its a sensitive area - eating habits... But, when it comes down to table manners, I'm sure its right to expect some sort of etiquette especially from an educated human being - irrespective of whether he is a vegetarian or a non-vegetarian...

I've been Tagged too!

Grail tagged me! I have to tell you 9 things that you don't know about me, only 8 of them are true. You need to guess which one isn't true!!

So, here goes:



1. I studied in the USA for 2 years and that has influenced me a lot and has moulded me to be slightly different from my generation in my thinking. I loved my school years at CFTRI (especially high school)

2. It pisses me off to see injustice of any sort, hypocrisy and bad treatment to women. I have been passed over for promotions because I was the only one who dared rise a voice against my previous team lead.

3. I am a good cook and this surprised not only my husband initially, but it continues to surprise all my friends/acquaintances when I tell them that I cook every night at home.

4. I am scared of dark rooms, thunder and lightening...

5. I learnt classical dance for 15 yrs before quitting, the main reason being that I didn't respect my teacher anymore and I didn't want to abuse the dance form by learning it from her...

6. I am a damn good singer.

7. I truly believe that we have to pay back everything on our time here and that Heaven and Hell are all here. Life always comes a full circle and mean people will always pay for their meanness here before they die a horrible death!

8. I don't like to say bad things about people, like curse them because I believe that my curse will affect me more than the person I cursed! (I know!! it's lame, stop laughing, I still think its true!!)

9. I read a lot and my husband is just the opposite - he reads only the newspaper! We share house work since we don't have a maid at home...



There you go, all 9 are done!!! If you know me, you will know which one isn't true before completing the list!!

I tag,

Vicky
Mysorean
Sachin
Sundancer
Rayshma
Illusionaire
PizzaDude
Smi (I think I'm the second person to tag you!)

There you go people!! Enjoy! :)

Edited to add: My sister had her exams till yesterday, so I didn't tag her with this...
Now, she is done with that and I know I will enjoy reading what she puts up,
So, I tag my crazy, nutty, clever, very weird(at-times) sister too!!! :)
Looking forward to see what she writes!!!

A Mother is...

I received this thru e-mail from a very good friend of mine and I really liked it and it said a lot about Mothers, so I've posted it!!!

A Mother is...The DENTIST who uses a string.

The SUNSHINE on a cloudy day.

The STORY TELLER when you can't get to sleep.

The HAIR STYLIST on the night of the prom.

The DOCTOR who cures poison ivy.

The TEACHER who teaches about life.

The SEAMSTRESS who patches torn jeans.

The COMEDIAN who makes you laugh when you're down.

The CHEERLEADER at all sports activities.

The NURSE who bandages a scraped knee.

The ARTIST who teaches finger painting.

The LAUNDRY LADY who keeps you dressed so nice.

The BAKER who makes chocolate chip cookies.

The TUTOR who helps with homework.

The COUNSELOR who gives guidance.

The CLEANING LADY who finds the bedroom floor.

The TOOTH FAIRY who rewards you for your pain.

The HEALER of your first broken heart.

The CHAUFFEUR for all social events.

The DISHWASHER who never complains.

The SELF-ESTEEM BUILDER for everyone.

The COOK who keeps the meals balanced.

The DREAM CATCHER who helps find dreams.

The KLEENEX that dries the tears.

The KEY that unlocks the door to the future.

The JUDGE who makes decisions with wisdom.

The PARTY PLANNER who makes you popular.

The SINGER who taught childhood songs.

The LIGHT that guides through dark moments.

The EGO BUILDER, picking you up when you're down.

The DRUGGIST who knows the cure for your pain.

The PRAYING HANDS that guide spiritually.

The GUARDIAN ANGEL who keeps you safe.

The FRIEND who puts real meaning into "I Love You"!

Weekend...

My weekend was GOOD! :-)
(Yes, I am a little late with this post especially since the coming weekend is only 2 days away!)
I went home (Mysore) on Saturday, had dinner at my aunt's place and we rushed back on Sunday morning since we had the carpenters coming over and we needed to get the Apartment cleaned for them...
I really don't want to bore you guys with that, but something happened on our way to Mysore that I wanted to mention and need your opinion on it...
So, here goes:

We boarded the 6:45 AM bus (Volvo) as usual and the journey was actually nice, except when this guy with a small kid boarded the bus at the new bus stop in Bangalore...
The kid was pretty small and the dad had a cover filled with chips etc and another carry bag...
So, as we are travelling, the guy comes up with the small kid and tells the driver that the kid needs to puke and the driver hands him a plastic bag!
This guy proceeds to make the kid sit near our legs and asks him to puke away! I was disgusted!! I told the guy straight away to take his kid away from our legs and make sure he pukes properly away from the people around, because, well its an AC bus, puke stinks and I didn't want any on my legs!!!
The guy glared at me and told me that I was insensitive and I would know only when I have kids!!
I didn't retort back, but kept quiet (I keep thinking that I should have said something)
But, even when I have a kid, I am quite sure I won't make it puke on other people's legs!!
I know how much of an inconvenience travel sickness can be, I still suffer from it!!!
But, I remember that my mom was quite sensible about the whole thing and she always made sure I didn't eat stuff like chips, other oily snacks in the bus.. also she used to carry candy (you know, the sherbet lemon kind) in her purse and she used to make sure I was distracted enough so that I didn't think of Puke... also, when I was old enough I was always given the travel-sickness-preventing-tablets (I still take them when I'm travelling long distances)
And I still make sure I don't eat a heavy meal while travelling.
He called me insensitive, Did I really come across as that when I told him to make sure his kid doesn't puke on our legs and to either take him down or near the door, so the smell doesn't bother other people??
I was being sensible...
Also, I don't know why this is bothering me so much!!

WHY?

Every time, we try to tell some one - we have some "good news", they assume that we are having a baby...
Each time I try to tell an acquaintance we have "good news" to share, their eyes widen, mouths open in anticipation and ask me - "So, finally you are pregnant?"
Ummm.... what's with the word "Finally" here???
Also, is that the only "good news" a young, just married couple(OK, its been a year, but its still new for us!!!) can share with this world??
I don't want the moms to start blasting me off the face of this planet, but we are not yet in the process of thinking that we can have a baby, I mean, there's plenty of time and unlike a few who have predicted doom to me and my unborn, un-conceived child, I am quite sure all 3 of us (including the hubby here) will be healthy and happy...
We would love to have kids, but not because someone else says - "Get pregnant, you are already getting old" WTF?????
Seriously, why should I be pregnant now, at the drop of someone else's hat?? Isn't that OUR decision to make??
Some said, that I would put on oodles of weight - I would become so dark and ugly that our child will be so dark and ugly, if I don't get pregnant soon!!! (Is this some new fangled blessings people give???)
Sheeeesh!!! Sometimes, its fun to give it right back, but it gets very irritating after a while...
Usually, I just laugh it off saying we are not yet ready, then we get this - "what do you mean by not ready?? These things happen, besides you have known each other for so.. long..." here again, eyes will be wide open, mouth slighly open....
Ummm... yes, we have... but, back in college, we were friends and we actually and seriously didn't discuss making babies back then!!! We were too busy having a great time hanging out together, studying, fighting... all normal "friends" stuff and I really don't think 2 friends discuss about making babies in their free time!
Or has this changed?? *gasp*
Do friends discuss making babies now??? *gasp* *gasp*

Well, what our "good news"? - We bought an Apartment in Real Estate crazy Bangalore!
I think that's an achievement by itself!!!
We will get used to this luxury first and then think of the next one...

So, next time I say "good news" - please don't ask me if I'm pregnant... I could just throw my keyboard/monitor/CPU (anything heavy) at you!
Since we have been patient about bringing OUR baby into this world, you too be patient please...

(My grammar sucks sometimes, especially when I'm this pissed off)

The past couple of days...

The past couple of days have not been good...
It all started last Thursday evening at 5 PM.
Let me bore you with the details(heh! like that's something new!!)...
Last Thursday was the last working day of one of my team mate's and he insisted that he give a farewell party to everyone.
Great idea right?
So, Some voted for Coffee and Pastries and Ice Cream at Barista while few nincompoops voted for Pizza (At 5 in the evening!!)
So, the idiots all decided it would be Pizza (again, at 5 in the evening?!!!)
I love a good Pizza, please don't get me wrong, but it's not something I can or would eat at 5 in the evening.
So, everyone gathers around for Pizzas.
I, for one know that I would have an upset stomach, so I didn't order anything specific.
I did however, manage to eat a single Veg Roll, and a slice of garlic bread...
But, my team mates ordered a Pizza for us vegetarians and insisted that we finish a large Veg Pizza.
I took the smallest piece and bit into it and immediately realised that I had made THE biggest mistake EVER!!!
The Pizza didn't have any salt and wasn't baked properly...
So, after eating like 2 bites, I leave my slice untouched.
But, that was enough... I suffered from the worst Stomach flu ever!!!
I was so sick on Friday, I couldn't see straight and nothing I ate was in my tummy longer than 5 secs... YUCK!!!
I called my husband, completely panic-stricken and I had visions of me lying deathly pale on a hospital bed while my loved ones cried around me.... (Yes, I over reacted and panicked and scared the hell out of my husband who was at work a good 15 kms away from home !!!)
and he being the darling, rushed home and made sure I rested properly after taking all the tablets, Glucose, plain rice and dal...
But, I was sick till Tuesday!!!
Even though I was up and about on Saturday and Sunday(my parents came for a whirl-wind visit on Saturday and a friend stayed over on Sunday - another post perhaps?)
I was sick on Tuesday again with fever... Not a good week at all...
I'm hoping this weekend will be better because I'm going home to my parents! :)
It's going to be one and a half days of bliss (hopefully) in good old "Namma Mysooru"!(Our Mysore)

On the Pizza note: I'm off Pizzas for a good century now!!! May be in 3000 AD I will eat them again!!!
It's really sad, I love a good cheese pizza...But now, the thought of eating pizza makes me go "Yuck"!!!

My List of Books...

My sister asked me to list out my favorite books - at least 10.
I wondered whether I actually had 10 books that I really liked and started to make the list.It turned out to be more!!
I don't read the "heavy stuff" like philosophy, Salman Rushdie, Arundathi Nag, Jhumpa Lahiri etc etc..
Now, please don't get me wrong, but I really can't read such stuff - they are all brilliant writers and story tellers.
I prefer action, adventure, a touch of romance maybe and a happy ending... :-)
So, when I started out to make my list:

1. Harry Potter series
2. Oliver Twist
3. Pride and Prejudice
4. Heidi
5. One night at a Call Center
6. The Client
7. The Godfather
8. The Alchemist
9. Erich Segal's Books
10. Agatha Christie Series
11. If Tomorrow Comes

Oh and I Love reading Enid Blyton! (Stop that laughing!! I love the way she writes for kids and how her stories are filled kids with a very strong sense of what's right and wrong!)
I have also read thru the series of Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Three Investigators as a Pre-Teen and also enjoyed Robert Ludlum, Robin Cook in high school.
I still enjoy Sherlock Holmes!
I really haven't tried too many new authors lately, so if you know of any good books, please do drop in the names!

A Borrowed Tag...

I was reading Sachin's blog and found this really interesting Tag in his Archives and saw that he mentions at the very end - "All others who happen to read this are welcome to take this up."
I really enjoyed reading what he had written and knew I would enjoy writing it, so here it is:

I am thinking about: How on earth will I finish the work I have today and yet manage to leave early and take leave tomorrow!

I want to: Take a vacation to Goa with my husband.

I wish: For more quality time with Hubby.

I hear: OK. And right now, I hear the "khat khat" noise of keyboards as people actually go about with their work!

I wonder: Why some of my friends took me for granted, used me and ditched me and said it was my fault.

I regret: Nothing! Except maybe, stopping my Dance classes - Bharathanatyam.

I am: Emotional, Weird, Nutty, hardworking, Honest...

I dance: Well, gracefully (I learnt classical Bharatanatyam for 15 yrs)

I sing: Very very very.. BADLY!!!

I cry: A lot!!! A good post, movie, book, hurt feelings - mine or anyone close to me - brings tears in my eyes...

I make with my hands: I'm not really Artistic, but I am a good cook!

I write: For myself... to put across my thoughts and feelings...

I confuse: Friendship most of the times!!
(I've been a champion at making bad friends over the years!!!)

I need: A lot of private space and time of my own, my husband.

And finally: I want to do a lot of things, achieve a lot, see the world with my husband, share a lot more precious, sad, happy moments with him...

I actually did enjoy doing this and pass on the tag to anyone who wants to do it too!!
But, specifically I tag Vicky!

Lunch Conversation...

Today's lunch turned out be very eventful - more so than usual.
We were(hubby and I) having our lunch peacefully when another couple sat down at our table...They were speaking quite loudly, so we were able to hear the conversation clearly...It went something like this -
She: So, she (some other girl) finally got married!
He: Hmmm... Really?? Good that she married before she became old!

By now, I'm very curious, so I'm eating a bit slowly to see what turn this conversation takes!
(Yes, I am the "slightly curious" sort and in my defense, they were loud!)

She: Yea, she married a Christian! hers is a "love" marriage (In a derogatory tone) She is a proper Gowda!! (What does that mean??) And now she has gone and converted!!!
He: Tsk! Tsk! Very sad... She has just ruined her life! If she has a daughter, who will marry her???
I'm so wonder-struck and I just couldn't help it - looked up and looked at them!
My thoughts were along this line -
How or why should it matter to these 2 what some other girl went and did...
So, what if she married a Christian?
Last time I looked it up - Christians also belong to the same species - Homosapiens!!!
And what does a "Proper Gowda" mean??
Hello - Life is all about love, hope, sharing and more love...As long as these 2 people loved each other, how did it matter to what religion, caste, creed,colour group they belonged to?
And who are these 2 to judge about what happens to their children??
I can understand if a lady/man who doesn't have the right exposure, education speak like this, but these 2 were educated and they are working and this is their mindset...
I looked at my husband, and he knows the signs and said "Don't look at me!!"
I was like - "C'mon, for the sake of an argument..." and he goes "Blog it!!"
So, that's what I have done...

Tell me, does it matter to what religion you belong to when you love and respect your life partner?

I spoke to my mom about this and she had a different view about things and this is what she said:
Different religions have different customs and we as Indians, whether we accept it or not, we are very particular about all this...
She said that as the years go by and the lust, love has all but disappeared, we tend to fall back on the familiar and some may go into depression or resent later on in life that they were made to abandon their particular religion/caste...
However much we progress and call ourselves broad-minded, that regret will arise.
So, if you want to marry someone from a different religion/caste, don't convert yourself,but do learn to respect, follow the other religion/caste as well...

I thought that was wise....

But, its again very circumstantial isn't it?? Some in-laws expect their DIL of a different religion/caste to convert, so she has to for the sake of her marriage/love etc etc... Or the scare that the guy will abandon her.... Sometimes, women are quite low on self-esteem and tend to think that their life starts and ends with their husband.....

What do you think?

Quotable Quotes...

Here are some of the quotes that I really really really... (well, you get the picture!!) like.
They make sense and some of them make me laugh...
I include one such Quote in the "Good Morning" mail I send out everyday to my friends.
Here goes -

• Life is an echo; all comes back,The good, the bad, the false, and the true.So, give the world the best u have &the best will come back to u.
• A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours!
• "A moment of Patience in a moment of Anger can help you Avoid a thousand Moments of Sorrow…”
• Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
• Don’t live your life in ‘What was…’ or ‘What will be…’
  Live life in ‘What it is…!’”
• 'The new broom sweeps clean but the old broom knows the corners.'
• "dream as if you'll live forever..live as if you'll die today.."
• "Calmness in mind brings accuracy in judgement."
• "Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional."
• "Not to decide is to decide." - Havery Cox
• "There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist or accept the responsibility for changing them. "
• "When you are going thru hell, keep going"
• "If it's hard to do, then you're doing it wrong."
• "Happiness Is Not A Destination. It Is A Method Of Life"
• "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." - Leonardo Da Vinci
• "Doubt your doubts and believe your belief and don’t doubt your belief and believe in your doubts"

Some more:

• “Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. “ - Calvin.
• A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort...
• Mark Twain said “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you do not mind, it does not matter.”
• 'Life is Like a Box of Chocolates .............You never know what you are gonna get ...- Forrest Gump'

There are so many more... Do you have any favorite Quotes that you really like? Do post them in the comments section!! :)

Dowry - Discrimination...

Another post on the same topic and how my blood actually reaches high boiling points when these things happens and that I am so powerless and that I can't stop such things from happening...
Here's the whole story -

We were teasing a team mate of mine who is getting married about where he is going for his honeymoon, party, bachelor's party etc - the usual set of bad jokes were being cracked and everyone was having a nice time....
Then another team mate of mine N pipes in and says: Hey, ask him how much Dowry he is getting!!!
This again is said in a very light tone, we all freeze, turn to him and expectantly look at him hoping he will deny that comment, but the guy doesn't and just blushes!!!!!
We look at N again and he smiles and says: 30 Lakhs!!!!
we are stunned and its like WTF???????????????
N looks smug and continues: It's not just money da, there's a house and 4 acres of land attached as well!
The guy who is getting married, shrugs and says: It's there in our community da, how can it not be followed??
WTF??
Can't you, an educated man who is earning pretty cool and big bucks tell his parents that he doesn't WANT the money??
I was pissed... (that's putting it mildly!)
I asked him: You are a grown and well educated man, can't you say no? I mean, if people like us - today's generation don't condemn such things, how are we setting an example and how do we even try to build a society clean from such things?
The guy looks at me and says: H, you are very naive! (WTF???) these things happen and they are part of our lives and I say no, the girl's parents will also think that something is wrong with me!!!!!
So, I ask him(I've gone RED by now): So, all your earnings, you are going to save so that you can pay your daughter's dowry is it?!!!!
He replies: H!!! Don't say such things!!! Please take it back, we don't want a daughter!!!!

I am so... shocked and saddened by this whole incident. This is the kind of society we live in...
Dowry still exists and is still rampant in all Indian societies, castes and across different religions.
And there are so many well educated people who say in shocked tones that they don't want daughters....
I spoke about this now with my husband and he looked at me kindly and said a few things which were truly shocking -
It exists in his community too!!! But, in a very discreet manner and the dowry is expected in GOLD!!!
The more jewellery the girl wears, the better "catch" she is!!!!
The MIL of the girl makes sure SHE is in possession of all the jewels!!!
I am glad my parents and my extended family don't belive in this. And I am so thankful to the Good Almighty for giving me such a sensible, strong willed husband...
But, I am appalled and shocked by all this... Am I really so naive? Will our society ever change?
What can I do to contribute to make it a better place ?
It's sad....

Aerobics and Me!!!!

I am creaking and aching all over!!
Wondering what I'm talking about?
Well here is the complete story - I am on a mission to lose some weight in the next 2 months, so I went and joined the Gym for Aerobics classes after work!
It's not that I'm fat, but I have put on a few extra Kilos which I HAVE TO Lose!!!And so I have started attending these classes in order to lose those few extra kilos...
My Aerobics instructor is Wonder Woman!!! Why? She doesn't tire, she doesn't rest nor does she let you rest!!! So, after 45 mins of continuously running around, jumping up and down my body aches in places I didn't know it would ache!!!
And I'm quite sure that by the end of 2 months - I would have lost all the extra kilos and some more if she keeps me going like this!!!
Ah... my poor aching legs - it's difficult to sit on a chair regular because of the leg pain,so I'm sitting crossed-leg (Indian Style) on a chair while working!!!
Yes, I look weird!!The first day i was so completely tired out - I went home in my tracks and over sized t-shirt(my husband's!!).. Oh.. I was such a sight!! LOL
So, here's wishing me all the best - not just to lose weight but to walk properly also!!!
I will keep you guys updated on what happens in my next class which I attend tomorrow!!Cheers!!!

Discrimination

I have been reading, following a lot about the Blank noise Project which is very commendable – fighting against sexual harassment on the streets, in homes at work places…
We need more awareness that this is NOT something which happens, something which should be taken in stride and more men need to get themselves involved in the same.
But, at the same time, when we do a reality check on what’s happening around us –
it’s really disheartening to know that how much ever you may fight, this is one battle which we are losing and one which we women have lost before we started fighting…

Before any of you raise your voices, let me give a few examples…

For a child to come up to his/her parents and tell that some "uncle/aunty" touched you in the wrong way - the parents should trust their children...
One of my very close friends was molested for 5 yrs by her Table tennis coach - when she spoke to her parents about this, she was spanked for telling untruths about such a "nice" man!!!
She grew up - a bit twisted, she distrusted all men and boys in her life and had never fallen in love till she met her husband (arranged by her parents).
But, thank goodness that now after years of stable friends, and a very good husband she is
alright. Even till date, her parents don't believe her... whose fault is that?

How any of us have really helped out a girl/lady in distress in a bus stop, canteen, college campus when she is being harassed by guys? Very few dare to voice out... all that most of us do is bend our heads and walk away very fast, praying that we are not targeted next...
Very few of us actually hit, punch back when a guy touches us.
How many parents out there teach their sons and daughters to respect one another?
How many parents teach their sons to respect girls and women and teach them that they are equals and should not be treated badly?
I have seen mothers discriminate against their daughters and favor the son - what kind of impression are you as a parent building in the mind of your young son?
I have seen my friends being discriminated baselessly against their brothers.
My best friend was denied milk and ghee in her diet while she was growing up because her brother needed more...
her brother is a grown man who doesn't respect any of the women in his life - wife, mother or sister.
What kind of an example is he setting for his children then?
the argument is a long one and will not end...
I will end this post by saying that unless we change our mental makeup and the way we function in our society, this battle can't be won.
It's wonderful to know that small steps are being taken, but do remember when you have children - you make sure that as a parent you teach them trust, respect, kindness towards fellow human beings is very important.

Conventional.... and Marriage

Anyone who knows me will say that conventional is so NOT the word to describe me!!
But, a few years back when I was still single, I surprised everyone including myself by agreeing to go "groom hunting" - the good old fashioned way - wherein a girl gets "interviewed" by the boys entire family including fourth cousins and aunts who are cousins etc etc even before meeting the boy!!!!!
Well, in my defense - my husband hadn't proposed yet and I didn't know that I would be marrying him!!!
Here are a few classic "interview lines" which I will never ever forget - they made me laugh back then too!

boy: Ummm... so, you are really interested in working?
me: Duh!! (in mind and trying to keep a straight face) Yes, which is why I did my Post Grad.
boy: How would you feel about giving up work after marriage?
me: WTF???????!!(In mind of course!) I wouldn't do that! I work hard and enjoy working.
boy: But, even if the boy is earning enough to lead a comfortable life why should you work?
me: (Seeing RED...) I work not for financial reasons, but for satisfying my intellectual needs...

The boy is at complete loss of words - I really think till date that he was a moron!

Scene 2:
boy: Taking care of elders is very important, do you agree?
me: Umm (Not sure where the conversation is going) (Nodding) yes... very true. I will take care of my parents in their old age (I could see my mom cringe!)
boy: (Raising his eyebrows) Oh! I was not talking about your parents, but about my old granny and my parents.
me: (Completely pissed) Well, since both of us work, we could hire a trained nurse to take care of their needs!! (My mom is suppressing laughter and making weird sounds from her mouth!)
And that was the end of THAT!... The tradition that when a girl leaves the house, her parents cease to be parents and even if they are dying on the streets, the girl should look after only her ungrateful in-laws SUCKS!!!

There are so many such scenarios... Maybe it was me or maybe all the boys I "saw" were complete morons... their parents certainly were!!!
One mother said "nanna maganna, nanna kanalli ittu belasideeni"!!! (roughly translates to - my boy has grown up in my eyes!!!) LOL !!!
Well - my mom too was protective about me and my sis and we were completely pampered and spoilt - we still are!!!
Why do mothers of boys assume that the girls' parents will NOT have taken care of their daughters and that once their darling son gets married - he gets hitched with a terminal disease called WIFE??? Then, don't get him married off for God's Sake!!!

I will not go into an argument about that nor do I say that all arranged marriages suck, but I am really glad that I married the man I loved as a friend, a man I knew...
And I am really really glad that my husband proposed when he did!!!! :)
Both "arranged" and "love" marriages have their ups and downs and as I told my friend just now - whatever be the type of marriage you have had - it needs time, commitment, adjustment and a healthy dose of compromises from both sides, trust and faith to work out.

I'm Back!

Hello to the very few people who read my blog!! :)
I am back after a very long hiatus of 5 months!!
It wasn't that nothing happened, but I was just too lazy to actually write anything new!!
(It's called as writer's block!!)
Now, what's happened in these past few months? Nothing much really...
For a very long time now, I have found my job to be extremely satisfying and it's really nice to see your efforts being appreciated and I can actually see how I've grown over the past few months. This, believe me, is very strange and happens quite rarely!!! (I can see a few of my friends raising eyebrows in disbelief over this statement!!!)
The other day V and I were talking about wishes and what would one wish for if we had that luxury.... He wished to be a pilot, but me - I wished for an island, books, no one to bug me and peace!!! As long as I was wishing, I also wished for unlimited money supply - I had asked for peace - which meant not coming to work everyday!!!!! And I really do need the money for the books and food!!!!
V said, all that is fine, but you do need to charter a plane and for that plane to take you where you need to go - you need a pilot and voila!!!
You know what that showed right - he wanted to get invited to my private island and a share in that peace too!! (I can hear the well aimed curses and comments from him now!!!)
Well, V is a good friend and as long as I get the plane, he could share the island also, I suppose!!!
Cheers to wishes!!! How I wish it were true - I can picture myself there - rather than sitting and working in a stuffy office - with only meetings to look forward to!!!!!!!