Random Thoughts...

Just random thoughts today. Nothing really related.

- Why is it that each time I remove my shoes and get comfortable, someone calls me over to their cubicle?

- Why is Bangalore weather so weird?

- Why do friends, who have come to you during their times of crisis/problem always manage to push you away when something nice is happening to them? Are they really friends?

- Why isn't my cough going away to a far away land? Any far away land will do!

- With my bad throat, why do I ALWAYS feel like eating ice cream?

- What pleasure do people get when they hurt someone? What kind of sadistic human being likes seeing another person suffer?

- Why do I have so much work?

Update on the work front: Transferring my knowledge to another extremely reluctant guy in the team - he doesn't like being told what to do - especially by a "girl"...
Very difficult to work with such people.
I still don't know if my roles/responsibility will change shortly or not...

- Why do I always get such idiots to work with?

- Why is everything so gloomy today?

I feel depressed - no specific reason - it's the work, I guess - thankless and never-ending.
- Is it wrong to feel so ungrateful about it?

Bah!

My Engagement Story:

Grail did a great post on one of her friend's popping the question to his sweetheart and she goes on to ask "what's your engagement story?"
Since mine was a bit out of the ordinary, I thought I'd do a post on it!
So, here goes -
It was a day after my birthday and we decided to visit the Chamundi Hills - the temple to be more specific, because we couldn't go the previous day!
So, we have a great time as usual and while we were returning back, the conversation went to how my parents were looking for an "arranged" match and that none of the guys were good enough and basically all of them were morons!
The conversation that happened next is something I will never ever forget!

Me: Compatibility, understanding, trust, the ability to make conversation, love etc etc are all very important! I can't marry a guy just because he is settled in a different country and earns in Dollars and not Rupees!

After a couple of minutes of silence... (Remember, we are still ON the bike going back home!)

Hubby: So, then... will you marry me?!
Me: Huh?!!! WHAT?!!!
I'm stunned into silence...
( We were planning on going to Coffee Day before going home )
Me: Take me home! I don't wanna go to Coffee Day...
Hubby: Hey! I was joking! don't take it seriously... You will see the fun side of it after you have your coffee...

I'm silent... and we arrive at Coffee Day and place our usual orders. After the coffee arrives,
I ask him - "You were serious na? Your question, I mean..."
He looks at me and nods.
We pay the bill and I say I need time to think about it!
(I know! I was so mean to the poor guy and he told me he couldn't think straight for the next couple of days!)
The next 2 days, I'm furiously thinking - not sure about anything AND to top it, I avoid the poor guy!
Then, I told my sister - she was shocked that I hadn't said YES immediately... she told me that would be the best thing to happen EVER!!!
So, after that, I call him up and he is neck deep in work with some critical issue on hand!
I say - "You remember that question you asked me that day? My answer is yes!" and I hang up!!!!!!
Man, I was such an idiot!!! LOL

We met the next day, talked it over and held hands (You know, in that special way and not how we usually hold hands with friends!) and took a long walk and ate pani puri!
The feeling was so special and still is and from that day on till date - I go to sleep with a smile on my face knowing that the special feeling will never go away whatever may come... I know that he is really special and a great guy! :-)

We told our parents later on and then the formal engagement ceremony was held on an auspicious day and we were engaged with rings being exchanged etc etc with every one's blessings! :-)

This is my story, so do you have one too?

My weekend was GOOD :-)
What was extra special was - my sister's best friend had come down for a visit and he discovered a great book store and urged me to check it out. So Sunday evening, hubby and I set out and the book store is awesome! It's not like Crosswords or Landmark, its got second-hand books too and there are books by every imaginable author!
The entire first floor is lined with books, the shelves touch the roof and its overflowing with books!
*Sigh*... it was like I died and went to heaven! I picked up a couple of Agatha Christies'. I love her books - now, I have been reading her from when I was a teenager and I still haven't got bored with them - a good juicy mystery in the afternoon with a steaming mug of coffee -
bliss! :-)
Also, after battling with myself for weeks, I finally went ahead and pre-ordered my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!
Now, I don't have to go around battling Bangalore's traffic and scary crowds to get myself a copy!
Also, what's with the "young ones" now-a-days? I mean the early 20s crowd?
Most of them I saw were rude, badly behaved and have no proper manners nor are they very hygienic...
I saw some really weird types on Brigade Road on Sunday! LOL!! I was gaping around like a kid in a toy shop!
Other than that, the week has been steady - I haven't sat idle nor have i been neck-deep in work. The pace is steady and I had a discussion with my manager and he says that I will be shifted to new things. I am very excited about the change of roles and here's wishing me luck that I do it well and it goes well for me too!
Cheers to friendship, love and life! (Not necessarily in that order!)

My thoughts...

It’s really nice to see the new breed of men – who are understanding, fair and who know that their wives’ are humans too and that feelings are the same be it with a man or with a woman – injustice and harassment are things which can’t be forgiven.
It’s nice to see them standing up for their wives without any hesitancy for they have the capacity to judge what is right and what is wrong… But, sadly this new breed of men is scarce! The “need to dominate my wife” category are still the majority.

Now, what's making me say all of this and more? Here's why:

I was blog-surfing as usual and as I hopped from one blog to another - similar kind of posts caught my eye - they were either male-bashing or praising them to the skies... (Mind you, these are none of the blogs which I read regularly!)
There was no balance.
I read somewhere as to how helpful the husband was and how understanding and how well he got along with her parents etc etc... Isn't that what is actually required? I mean, if you, as a woman is expected to stretch an extra mile or 2 for your husband's family, isn't he expected to do the same? Why is it considered so great?

It made me think and I spoke to a couple of my married friends, thought about what they had to say, saw weird examples in some of my cousins' lives and here goes those thoughts:

** Once married, the girl is expected to leave everything behind her - her parents, comforts, friends, and the life she had carved for herself and adopt herself completely to her husband's life, his parents, friends etc.
Why? Can't they meet half-way? If you as a man can't let go of your parents to whom you are so grateful for their care, upbringing, health etc, why should a girl give up the same things?
** If the guy's parents are not well - she is expected to take care of them, but if her parents are not well, then why can't she take care of them? Please tell me, how different the equation is?
** The in-laws assume they have the automatic right to abuse the new girl in their house, word- bash her parents and full family and she is expected to keep quiet!
My blood boils over when I hear and see such things!!
If the lady in question takes a stand and keeps her head up high and says that you can't get away with such rubbish, then she is immediately termed as "bad",
BUT if the girl's parents dare to make the same mistake as to utter one word against the GREAT son-in-law, it is his right as a man to severe all ties with his wife's family!!
Isn't this hypocrisy at its heights and isn't the girl being subjected to harassment?
** When I discussed the same with a friend, he said as a woman you are expected to behave in a specific way and as a married woman, certain things are expected from you.
What kind of crap is that?!!!
** 1+1 is always 2, it is never anything else. So why is a woman "expected" to behave in a completely different way?
** The guy helps out the wife at home, that's something very normal for both of them – the husband and the wife, then why does the guy's mother raise such a huge cry and go around complaining to anyone who bothers to listen that the daughter-in-law doesn't do anything, but her son does!! Especially when at home, the guy's father helps out too!!!
** Why is it that her income is the "additional pocket money" which is for trivial things like "shopping”??
** What makes you think that the love she shows for the guy will make her keep quiet about any injustice that happens to her because of her in-laws?
** What happened to equal-footing and quotes like - "my wife is an individual and she can do what she wants?" - Does that mean, she can do as she pleases as long as she doesn't cross some weird line drawn by the husband?
** And what is this constant need to dominate and control the wife syndrome?? Is this due to low self-esteem? And you being the mother, another woman - how can you teach your son to "control" his wife else she will go "out of hand"??
WTF does that mean???
** If a woman is "expected" to behave in a certain way, why doesn't it hold true for a man too? Why indecent, dominant and irrational behavior is justified and why is the excuse given that because he is a man he can get away with such behavior!

All you moms out there with cute boys – please make sure that you try your best to make sure that your cute boy turns out to be a smart man who will love, support his wife and when you become an in-law remember to treat the girl with respect – only then will she learn to respect you.

All you ladies, men out there, if you have good, decent in-laws hold onto them...
It’s always a give and take equation and as the elder one in the family, its your duty to teach the youngsters about individuality, respect, space, privacy and most importantly to trust and respect your spouse…
I mean, it's our parents at home who taught us right? (Grandparents included too!)

Remember that the girl is new to all this - just as you are. A girl isn't born into this world with a Masters degree in Matrimony!

Also remember to appreciate, love your spouse and more than anything else - support them when they are right and correct them if something is wrong!

Most importantly, always remember that a relationship is fragile and once broken; the cracks will always show...