Friday, April 27, 2007

Quotable Quotes...

Here are some of the quotes that I really really really... (well, you get the picture!!) like.
They make sense and some of them make me laugh...
I include one such Quote in the "Good Morning" mail I send out everyday to my friends.
Here goes -

  • Life is an echo; all comes back,The good, the bad, the false, and the true.So, give the world the best u have &the best will come back to u.
  • A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours!
  • "A moment of Patience in a moment of Anger can help you Avoid a thousand Moments of Sorrow…”
  • Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
  • Don’t live your life in ‘What was…’ or ‘What will be…’
    Live life in ‘What it is…!’”
  • 'The new broom sweeps clean but the old broom knows the corners.'
  • "dream as if you'll live as if you'll die today.."
  • "Calmness in mind brings accuracy in judgement."
  • "Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional."
  • "Not to decide is to decide." - Havery Cox
  • "There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist or accept the responsibility for changing them. "
  • "When you are going thru hell, keep going"
  • "If it's hard to do, then you're doing it wrong."
  • "Happiness Is Not A Destination. It Is A Method Of Life"
  • "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." - Leonardo Da Vinci
  • "Doubt your doubts and believe your belief and don’t doubt your belief and believe in your doubts"

Some more:

  • “Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. “ - Calvin.
  • A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort...
  • Mark Twain said “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you do not mind, it does not matter.”
  • 'Life is Like a Box of Chocolates .............You never know what you are gonna get ...- Forrest Gump'

There are so many more... Do you have any favorite Quotes that you really like? Do post them in the comments section!! :)

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Dowry - Discrimination...

Another post on the same topic and how my blood actually reaches high boiling points when these things happens and that I am so powerless and that I can't stop such things from happening...
Here's the whole story -

We were teasing a team mate of mine who is getting married about where he is going for his honeymoon, party, bachelor's party etc - the usual set of bad jokes were being cracked and everyone was having a nice time....
Then another team mate of mine N pipes in and says: Hey, ask him how much Dowry he is getting!!!
This again is said in a very light tone, we all freeze, turn to him and expectantly look at him hoping he will deny that comment, but the guy doesn't and just blushes!!!!!
We look at N again and he smiles and says: 30 Lakhs!!!!
we are stunned and its like WTF???????????????
N looks smug and continues: It's not just money da, there's a house and 4 acres of land attached as well!
The guy who is getting married, shrugs and says: It's there in our community da, how can it not be followed??
Can't you, an educated man who is earning pretty cool and big bucks tell his parents that he doesn't WANT the money??
I was pissed... (that's putting it mildly!)
I asked him: You are a grown and well educated man, can't you say no? I mean, if people like us - today's generation don't condemn such things, how are we setting an example and how do we even try to build a society clean from such things?
The guy looks at me and says: H, you are very naive! (WTF???) these things happen and they are part of our lives and I say no, the girl's parents will also think that something is wrong with me!!!!!
So, I ask him(I've gone RED by now): So, all your earnings, you are going to save so that you can pay your daughter's dowry is it?!!!!
He replies: H!!! Don't say such things!!! Please take it back, we don't want a daughter!!!!

I am so... shocked and saddened by this whole incident. This is the kind of society we live in...
Dowry still exists and is still rampant in all Indian societies, castes and across different religions.
And there are so many well educated people who say in shocked tones that they don't want daughters....
I spoke about this now with my husband and he looked at me kindly and said a few things which were truly shocking -
It exists in his community too!!! But, in a very discreet manner and the dowry is expected in GOLD!!!
The more jewellery the girl wears, the better "catch" she is!!!!
The MIL of the girl makes sure SHE is in possession of all the jewels!!!
I am glad my parents and my extended family don't belive in this. And I am so thankful to the Good Almighty for giving me such a sensible, strong willed husband...
But, I am appalled and shocked by all this... Am I really so naive? Will our society ever change?
What can I do to contribute to make it a better place ?
It's sad....

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Aerobics and Me!!!!

I am creaking and aching all over!!
Wondering what I'm talking about?
Well here is the complete story - I am on a mission to lose some weight in the next 2 months, so I went and joined the Gym for Aerobics classes after work!
It's not that I'm fat, but I have put on a few extra Kilos which I HAVE TO Lose!!!And so I have started attending these classes in order to lose those few extra kilos...
My Aerobics instructor is Wonder Woman!!! Why? She doesn't tire, she doesn't rest nor does she let you rest!!! So, after 45 mins of continuously running around, jumping up and down my body aches in places I didn't know it would ache!!!
And I'm quite sure that by the end of 2 months - I would have lost all the extra kilos and some more if she keeps me going like this!!!
Ah... my poor aching legs - it's difficult to sit on a chair regular because of the leg pain,so I'm sitting crossed-leg (Indian Style) on a chair while working!!!
Yes, I look weird!!The first day i was so completely tired out - I went home in my tracks and over sized t-shirt(my husband's!!).. Oh.. I was such a sight!! LOL
So, here's wishing me all the best - not just to lose weight but to walk properly also!!!
I will keep you guys updated on what happens in my next class which I attend tomorrow!!Cheers!!!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


I have been reading, following a lot about the Blank noise Project which is very commendable – fighting against sexual harassment on the streets, in homes at work places…
We need more awareness that this is NOT something which happens, something which should be taken in stride and more men need to get themselves involved in the same.
But, at the same time, when we do a reality check on what’s happening around us –
it’s really disheartening to know that how much ever you may fight, this is one battle which we are losing and one which we women have lost before we started fighting…

Before any of you raise your voices, let me give a few examples…

For a child to come up to his/her parents and tell that some "uncle/aunty" touched you in the wrong way - the parents should trust their children...
One of my very close friends was molested for 5 yrs by her Table tennis coach - when she spoke to her parents about this, she was spanked for telling untruths about such a "nice" man!!!
She grew up - a bit twisted, she distrusted all men and boys in her life and had never fallen in love till she met her husband (arranged by her parents).
But, thank goodness that now after years of stable friends, and a very good husband she is
alright. Even till date, her parents don't believe her... whose fault is that?

How any of us have really helped out a girl/lady in distress in a bus stop, canteen, college campus when she is being harassed by guys? Very few dare to voice out... all that most of us do is bend our heads and walk away very fast, praying that we are not targeted next...
Very few of us actually hit, punch back when a guy touches us.
How many parents out there teach their sons and daughters to respect one another?
How many parents teach their sons to respect girls and women and teach them that they are equals and should not be treated badly?
I have seen mothers discriminate against their daughters and favor the son - what kind of impression are you as a parent building in the mind of your young son?
I have seen my friends being discriminated baselessly against their brothers.
My best friend was denied milk and ghee in her diet while she was growing up because her brother needed more...
her brother is a grown man who doesn't respect any of the women in his life - wife, mother or sister.
What kind of an example is he setting for his children then?
the argument is a long one and will not end...
I will end this post by saying that unless we change our mental makeup and the way we function in our society, this battle can't be won.
It's wonderful to know that small steps are being taken, but do remember when you have children - you make sure that as a parent you teach them trust, respect, kindness towards fellow human beings is very important.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Conventional.... and Marriage

Anyone who knows me will say that conventional is so NOT the word to describe me!!
But, a few years back when I was still single, I surprised everyone including myself by agreeing to go "groom hunting" - the good old fashioned way - wherein a girl gets "interviewed" by the boys entire family including fourth cousins and aunts who are cousins etc etc even before meeting the boy!!!!!
Well, in my defense - my husband hadn't proposed yet and I didn't know that I would be marrying him!!!
Here are a few classic "interview lines" which I will never ever forget - they made me laugh back then too!

boy: Ummm... so, you are really interested in working?
me: Duh!! (in mind and trying to keep a straight face) Yes, which is why I did my Post Grad.
boy: How would you feel about giving up work after marriage?
me: WTF???????!!(In mind of course!) I wouldn't do that! I work hard and enjoy working.
boy: But, even if the boy is earning enough to lead a comfortable life why should you work?
me: (Seeing RED...) I work not for financial reasons, but for satisfying my intellectual needs...

The boy is at complete loss of words - I really think till date that he was a moron!

Scene 2:
boy: Taking care of elders is very important, do you agree?
me: Umm (Not sure where the conversation is going) (Nodding) yes... very true. I will take care of my parents in their old age (I could see my mom cringe!)
boy: (Raising his eyebrows) Oh! I was not talking about your parents, but about my old granny and my parents.
me: (Completely pissed) Well, since both of us work, we could hire a trained nurse to take care of their needs!! (My mom is suppressing laughter and making weird sounds from her mouth!)
And that was the end of THAT!... The tradition that when a girl leaves the house, her parents cease to be parents and even if they are dying on the streets, the girl should look after only her ungrateful in-laws SUCKS!!!

There are so many such scenarios... Maybe it was me or maybe all the boys I "saw" were complete morons... their parents certainly were!!!
One mother said "nanna maganna, nanna kanalli ittu belasideeni"!!! (roughly translates to - my boy has grown up in my eyes!!!) LOL !!!
Well - my mom too was protective about me and my sis and we were completely pampered and spoilt - we still are!!!
Why do mothers of boys assume that the girls' parents will NOT have taken care of their daughters and that once their darling son gets married - he gets hitched with a terminal disease called WIFE??? Then, don't get him married off for God's Sake!!!

I will not go into an argument about that nor do I say that all arranged marriages suck, but I am really glad that I married the man I loved as a friend, a man I knew...
And I am really really glad that my husband proposed when he did!!!! :)
Both "arranged" and "love" marriages have their ups and downs and as I told my friend just now - whatever be the type of marriage you have had - it needs time, commitment, adjustment and a healthy dose of compromises from both sides, trust and faith to work out.