Another post on the same topic and how my blood actually reaches high boiling points when these things happens and that I am so powerless and that I can't stop such things from happening...
Here's the whole story -
We were teasing a team mate of mine who is getting married about where he is going for his honeymoon, party, bachelor's party etc - the usual set of bad jokes were being cracked and everyone was having a nice time....
Then another team mate of mine N pipes in and says: Hey, ask him how much Dowry he is getting!!!
This again is said in a very light tone, we all freeze, turn to him and expectantly look at him hoping he will deny that comment, but the guy doesn't and just blushes!!!!!
We look at N again and he smiles and says: 30 Lakhs!!!!
we are stunned and its like WTF???????????????
N looks smug and continues: It's not just money da, there's a house and 4 acres of land attached as well!
The guy who is getting married, shrugs and says: It's there in our community da, how can it not be followed??
Can't you, an educated man who is earning pretty cool and big bucks tell his parents that he doesn't WANT the money??
I was pissed... (that's putting it mildly!)
I asked him: You are a grown and well educated man, can't you say no? I mean, if people like us - today's generation don't condemn such things, how are we setting an example and how do we even try to build a society clean from such things?
The guy looks at me and says: H, you are very naive! (WTF???) these things happen and they are part of our lives and I say no, the girl's parents will also think that something is wrong with me!!!!!
So, I ask him(I've gone RED by now): So, all your earnings, you are going to save so that you can pay your daughter's dowry is it?!!!!
He replies: H!!! Don't say such things!!! Please take it back, we don't want a daughter!!!!
I am so... shocked and saddened by this whole incident. This is the kind of society we live in...
Dowry still exists and is still rampant in all Indian societies, castes and across different religions.
And there are so many well educated people who say in shocked tones that they don't want daughters....
I spoke about this now with my husband and he looked at me kindly and said a few things which were truly shocking -
It exists in his community too!!! But, in a very discreet manner and the dowry is expected in GOLD!!!
The more jewellery the girl wears, the better "catch" she is!!!!
The MIL of the girl makes sure SHE is in possession of all the jewels!!!
I am glad my parents and my extended family don't belive in this. And I am so thankful to the Good Almighty for giving me such a sensible, strong willed husband...
But, I am appalled and shocked by all this... Am I really so naive? Will our society ever change?
What can I do to contribute to make it a better place ?
Musings on life, poker and the two….
1 week ago