Wednesday, April 29, 2009
The discussion board there is much more interesting than the actual article itself.
Lots of guys have written and agreed with one another that its because of the girl
– since she is making good money in the IT sector that the Divorce rates are
They also go on to point that a girl in the IT sector should be the last
choice for getting married…
What kind of bullshit are we spreading here???
And we call these people educated...
Why are these statistics so misleading? Or are these frightening statistics really true?
The guys in my project are of the same mentality.
Now, I don't exactly consider any of them as men, but their feeling is the same.
There is also some weird trend here, guys, who have spent all their life, save their working years, growing up in a restricted, small-minded environment have all married girls who are fresh out of college!
Now, we all know how mature, career-oriented we were at the tender age of 20, right?!
All of them are married to girls, who are not ambitious.
Is it because they have such huge inferiority complex that they need to control their wives, either thru physical abuse or thru financial dependency??
Many of my friends in my age group - single and successful women are quite afraid to go in for arranged marriages, simply because the guys elder to them, would expect them to either toe the line somewhere or make huge compromises in terms of
career growth and money.
Most of them prefer being single or in an affair where they wouldn't have to make life-altering compromises.
Why is it that men find it increasingly difficult to adjust to wives earning more money or being in a higher position than them?
We women in the IT sector lead are more stressed out.
Balancing both work and home is difficult.
We are ambitious, much more than our counter-parts, more productive and definitely much more professional than the men.
But, we manage because we have awesome spouses behind us, egging us on, cheering us to do better.
My friend asked me how I manage, now I necessarily don't think I'm managing anything because my support system is rock-solid.
The only thing my dad says till date is - "do your best and be the best"
My mom says, waiting a year more to have a baby is ok - nothing is wrong with that - concentrate on your work now.
My husband - he is the one who criticises me, makes me cry over my work and helps me when I get stuck somewhere.
He is the one who keeps a hot meal ready when I go home late, who wakes me up with a cup of chai and packs my breakfast for me.
Do I feel guilty that he does so much? NO.
Why? Because I do the very same for him... I make sure he has cleanly pressed clothes to wear, hot food and all the criticism and encouragement he can possibly digest!!!
What gets my goat is that a woman is expected to do all this and when the man does the same for his wife - he is either "Joru Ka Gulam" or the lady is very "lucky"!!
Isn't it but natural for the husband to be equally, if not more supportive of his wife's career, life?
The inequality gets to me and the level of insecurities never fails to amaze me!
How long will we struggle like this?
I hope that as we struggle, that some change will come about. But, then, I have always been an optimist!
P.S: This was written a very long time ago, but hadn't published it for various reasons unknown!
So, putting it up now after toning down the post... :)
Saturday, April 25, 2009
now, I need you lovely people to check out my husband's blog!
Please check out my husband's attempt (finally!) at blogging... He too has finally succumbed to the awesomeness of blogs!
His place -> Cool Dude...
Please encourage the man! :)
his sense of humour is pretty awesome... and I'm not saying this just because he is my Husband!! :P
Thank you, lovely people!! :)
Friday, April 24, 2009
I was excited, just like those adorable babies I met today about my first ever bloggers meet! :)
And how fantastic it was put faces to the babies, moms... to know them, connect with a few of them...
But, then all the enthusiasm I had, disappeared with me watching today's episode of the Dance Reality show - Jhalak Dhikalaja.
Here, Baichung and Sonia showed Domestic Violence in their dance.
They made most of us cry... and then, the anchor Shwetha said that if you see any woman who is in this state, who is a victim of Domestic Violence, don't simply sit around - go and help.
this just made me feel helpless and sad and angry.
My friend is a victim of Domestic Violence... she was beaten and thrown out of the house when it was 6 degrees outside and she had nothing on but a night gown. And to add to it, she is pregnant.
She is still with him because her parents "decided" that she needs to listen to her husband and "adjust" to him.
She says and believes that her place and fate is with that animal she calls husband.
I cannot believe that a man can stoop so low enough to hit his wife, the woman who is supposed to be his partner in life, who is giving birth to their child...
A husband is supposed to be thoughtful and caring...more so, when his wife is pregnant.
My brain just can't register the fact that she is OK with getting beaten up, an educated woman, who knows its wrong, but has "accepted" this as her fate.
I will post again about the awesome feeling of meeting so many blog-mom's and their adorable little ones...
right now, my brain's all mushed up.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
IT'S BEEN A MONTH.
I have no idea how well we are going to cope after you leave for your MBA... sigh.
and yes, this is a direct public message to my sister - to tell her WE are pissed off with her!!! :P
Also, on a totally different and unrelated note, to my dear trolls - 'EFF OFF... really. just because I'm being patient and decent and NOT putting up your immature comments up for the world to see doesn't mean I'm putting up with it. DO NOT mistake my silence and patience as weakness.
and since this blog is a decent place - the curse words are being held off - temporarily.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I did what every other person do - I googled "Hold hands"
and there were numerous Quotes, links etc about the same.
Of the entire lot, this saying I liked:
"The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.
~Quoted by Alexandra Penney"
and I also found a website which teaches a person "How to hold Hands"!! -
And, this picture from Google - I liked best:
Now, for me holding hands primarily means - security.
It is a sign of trust.
A baby trusting its parents, spouses trusting one another
The blind man trusting the person to help him cross the street.
Holding hands, also denotes - "I will show you the way."
For Parents to their child - it means they are guiding the way - showing them the path before they let go and watch you pave your own path thru life's journey.
It means security - emotional security.
It is also one visible way of showing love.
We hold hands, when we are unsure, scared and when we are happy!!
For me, holding hands with my husband, when we are walking simply denotes companionship.
If i'm holding my sister's hand - it means I'm protecting her, even if it ends up irritating her!!! heh!
If it's with my parents - it works both ways - I am seeking protection or I'm helping them cross the road in
Blore sometimes!! :)
What does holding hands mean to you?
Image courtesy: Google! :)
Friday, April 17, 2009
And, I have 2 meetings - calls that I need to take from home.
My Friday evening plans with a couple friends has been effectively shot down the drain...
The husband has been working late everyday which includes today as well.
I really wouldn't mind that chilled beer or a glass of chilled Red wine. right now.
I feel like this -
I want my weekend. Now.
Image: google! where else?! Duh!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Since, it meant just talking some more about me! I thought - why not!! :P
1. Last beverage: Tea
2. Last phone call: Spoke to my dad
3. Last text message: "Eat breakfast" - from my husband
4. Last song you listened to: Independent girl
5. Last time you cried: can't really remember - it's been some months. I think.
HAVE YOU EVER...
6. Dated someone twice: yea
7. Been cheated on? : by friends? plenty of times!
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? : yup! ;-)
9. Lost someone special? : yes.
10. Been depressed? : no.
11. Been drunk and threw up? : no.. i try not to reach that threshold!! ;-)
LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
16. Made new friends: sure... I do it all the time, especially thru this blog!
17. Fallen out of love: yeah...
18. Laughed until you cried: no. But laughed till my cheeks ached and tears were rolling out my eyes.
19. Met someone who changed you: yes.
20. Found out who your true friends were: yes
21. Found out someone was talking about you: Oh yea! happened to be a so-called "good friend"!! and of course, how can one discount the relatives!! LOL
22. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: yup!
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: most of them...
24. How many kids do you want to have: it depends on my mood - sometimes 1, other times 2
25. Do you have any pets: no. but, i want 2 dogs!!
26. Do you want to change your name: No... i think Pixie suits me fine!! ;-)
27. What did you do for your last birthday: Was at home in Mysore - Ate cake, went to the temple and had dinner out with my folks
28.What time did you wake up today: early - 5:45 AM
29. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping.
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for : can't think of anything like that....
31. Last time you saw your father: During Ugadi - March 28th
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I am changing quite a few things - including my weight! :P (just need to lose a tad bit more!!)
33. Most visited web page: google, gmail, blog, office web page
WHAT'S YOUR :
34. Name: Pixie :)
35. Nicknames: Pixie, on the blog... and quite a few short renditions on my actual name!!! :P
36. Zodiac sign: Pieces
37. Male or female or transgender : female
38. Elementary: done in Mysore
39. College: again, studied in Mysore
40. Hair color: it's deep brown/mahagony - though it's not very clear!! :P
41. Long or short: I have weird hair - usually it's shoulder length - now, its longer...
42. Height: not too tall.. I look good with what height i have!! :P
43. Do you have a crush on someone? : currently, Vin Diesel and Paul Walker from Fast and the Furious 4!!
44. Ever been in love? : Yep.. I continue to be in it!
45. Piercings? : ears.
46. Tattoos? : No.. i don't understand body art.
47. Righty or lefty: righty
48. First surgery: none. yet.
49. First piercing: not really sure when my folks got it done...
50. First best friend: Pallavi from Kindergatern and then Bobbie in Denver.
51. First sport you loved: Basketball
52. First pet : none yet! see answer to Q 25.
53. First vacation: Can't remember at all...
54. First concert: Was in Good Shepard Convent - Music Hall. I played Concerto No. 25 and then the March Rain.
Didn't I tell you - I played the Piano - Western classical - you know - Mozart and Bach and stuff like that!
I have the certificates from London School of Music. Had to stop, becuase reality caught up in the form of college and studies...
55. First crush: Can't remember - I think it was a guy from School when I was in the 4th!
56. Eating: Almonds
57. Drinking: Water
58. I'm about to: Catch up on work! :D
59. Listening to: nothing - except the pit-patting of key boards around me
60. Waiting for: the afternoon to pass
61. Want kids? : yup...
62. Want to get married? na! done that! once is enough!!
63. Careers in mind? : Dancer, Painist...
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
64. Lips or eyes: both
65. Hugs or kisses: both
66. Shorter or taller: taller. definetly.
67. Older or Younger: Mature and Wise :P
68. Romantic or spontaneous: both. depends on the situation and my mood...
69. Nice stomach or nice arms: both
70. Sensitive or loud: sensitive
71. Hook-up or relationship: relationship.
72. Trouble maker or hesitant: neither, I think.
HAVE YOU EVER :
73. Kissed a stranger: heh! no... not yet! :P
74. Lost glasses/contacts: well, broken my glasses plenty of times. Does that count? :)
76. Broken some one's heart: Yea...
77. Had your own heart broken: Not really... I thought I had and then realised that I hadn't!!
78. Been arrested: nope!
79. Turned someone down: yes... 3 of them! (I'm modest, I've kept count!! :P)
80. Cried when someone died: yes.
81. Liked a friend that is a girl? I like most of my "girl friends", but now I have reached an age where I have learnt to pretend really well...
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
81. Yourself: totally. without a single doubt
82. Miracles: Yep. For sure
83. God: Yes.
84. Love at first sight: Hehe! no!
85. Heaven: yea - it's here - you experience heaven and hell here on Earth before passing on.
86. Santa Claus: YES! :D
87. Kiss on the first date? yes.
88. Angels: yes... all kinds
89. Devils: sure.. I mean, when you have worked with them, it's difficult not to believe in them!
*again, haven't lied till here!*
90. Is there one person you want to be with right now? : yes. husband is at work and my friend - he is out of the country...
91. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? : girlfriends yes. boyfriend... no.
92. Wanted to kill someone ever? : yea.. i have a list too... some people are off it now..
93. Among your blog mates, whom would you like to kiss? : eh?! no one... Hugs - yes!
94. Committed a blunder and regretted later? : Sure.. read the answer to Q# 22.
95. Wanted to steal your friend's boyfriend / girlfriend? : No...
ASSOCIATE WITH SOMETHING YOU WEAR :
96. White: kurthas
97. Black: shoes
98. Red: salwar
99. Pink: kurtha, shirt
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? : no! Just "100 more things about me!!" :P
There, done! I tag anyone and everyone who has the patience or the afternoon to do this tag!! :)
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Yesterday, I attended a course on Leadership and People Management. I will not discuss the finer aspects of this course here. No, the purpose of writing this is to record few thoughts and phrases that were discussed.
Couple of things stood out, one of them being his definition of Masculinity and Feminism.
The lady next to me bristled with indignation when he used the word – Feminine Leader!
But, I found his explanation fascinating…
He said a Leader’s approach needs to be more Feminine than Masculine.
This, generally means, a Leader needs to be more tolerant, more open to ideas.
A Masculine approach would mean rigidity, being rough with your team, which might not work in all situations i.e. universally…
He further elaborated on the same saying that the general misguided notion of Feminism meant weakness…
But, Feminism is actually tolerance, openness to ideas, empathy to your employees and most importantly emotional strength and surety while dealing with problems.
I found his definition fascinating. Mainly because not many people have managed to explain something so complicated and debated upon topic, so easily.
When you think about it, all great leaders are feminists, mainly because of their ability and willingness to be tolerant and open minded and willing to experiment on new ideas and explore the unexplored.
Now, he also went on to say that Feminism and Masculinity have been beaten down by gender biasing which is really unfair because not all women are tolerant or open minded.
One important point that stood out was, toughness of mind was needed and not physical toughness… you need to defeat an opponent or argument with your mind
Quite a revelation, isn’t it?
The discussion spanned across various platforms, but, again, 1 important thing that stood out for me was
Lao Tzu’s quotes on Leadership. Here was a man, who wrote about leadership and its qualities approx 4000 yrs before the actual research started on the said subject!
“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves. A superior leader gets things done with very little motion, for he is a catalyst”
“Be the chief but never the lord.”
“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.”
Quite true isn’t it? When you think of great leaders, or closer home, your managers, bosses, the person one actually looked up to was the person in whom these qualities were present…
Now, I am not saying all this is very accurate research, but it makes perfect sense to me!
Final parting words from on how a leader should be – Charismatic, i.e. a combination of - Honesty, Inspiring, Forward Looking and Competent.
A Leader should be Empathetic, broad minded and Willing to experiment…
P.S: All quotes were picked up from google.
I do not comment on the authenticity of all this. These are my opinions and views. Nor am I trying to impose my views on anyone while condemning any other sort or type of view...
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Is that the only reason why a girl goes home to her parents??
Couldn't it 'Just because'?
Both husband and wife have spent considerable amount of their time and energy "explaining" her reasons!!
Is it necessary? It's her wish or their wish... isn't it?
why is going her own home being made into such an issue?
Don't we have better things to devote our time and energy to?
Just like how they have portrayed the "unmarried" lady in the Kannada serial "Muktha Muktha"
I do agree that even in this day and age, unmarried women face a lot of hassles and discrimination...
But, when the director says he is trying to show something different... couldn't he have at least portrayed someone who is happy about her single status?
Someone who is confident and strong emotionally, willing to fight her battles by herself, without moping around with truck loads of self-pity?!!
Let's see something different people... some change... something revolutionary which will make us sit back and say "how's that for a change?!!"
Friday, April 03, 2009
Weekend is barely 3 hrs away - I mean the time I leave work!! :P
Also, in order to make sure boredom prevails (yes, I want to be bored, because that will prevent me from doing anything constructive! :P)
Here's a list of questions, which or what do you prefer?
1. Regular cake or Pastry cake for cutting on your Birthday?
2. Coffee or tea or a glass of milk in the mornings?
3. Indian Breakfast or Continental - like bread, toast, cereals
4. Chapathi or Rice for Dinner?
5. How many ear piercings do you prefer?
6. Pink or Blue or Green?
7. Adventure/Mystery novels or romance novels?
8. Driving to work or traveling b y public transport?
9. cheery on top or icing?
10. Cookies or Muffins?
11. Beach or Hill station?
12. cooking food at home or eating out?
13. Samosas and Jelibis or Coffee and croissants?
Go on... leave me your preferences. which Do you like better? :)
Please comment!! :D
Happy Weekend Folks!