MM in her usual clear way talks about Domestic Violence and she says very correctly, that the Victim is to be blamed equally, because she kept quiet and let the violence recur without taking a stand...
A friend of mine is a victim of domestic violence... the whole thing is disgusting.
She has been beaten, humiliated, almost killed in a road accident by her drunk husband all in the name of dowry.
I haven't spoken to her in 5 yrs and all this information was given by another friend. The first thing, I wanted to do was call her and talk to her, offer any kind of support.
But, the next few lines my friend spoke, stopped me. Here's what she said:
My friend T is apparently "ashamed" of this whole fiasco and she doesn't want people to know she is a victim of domestic violence and she is getting a divorce.
Her parents told her to "adjust" and even gave more money to the B&*#$%$%$# when he harassed their daughter! They said she is "dark-skinned" and a "Woman's place is at her husband's"
She has put up with the violence, the humiliation for more than 2 yrs. She only walked out recently because he almost killed her! He was drunk, made her sit behind him on his bike, and had an accident on the Shimoga-Bhadravathi highway!!!
Her parents used to send her back to him, knowing that he will beat her again and again...
(I have a big grouse against her parents... what kind of people are they? How could they let their baby get hurt again and again? How could they keep quiet when they knew about how much pain and humiliation their daughter was going thru?)
The shameless B&*&^%^ even brought home other women in her presence!
I was speechless! How could she have stayed with him for 2 yrs?!!
Why didn't she tell her friends? It was only after my friend D scolded her and told her to cough up what the problem was, did she tell the details...
When D told her to call the police or better still, tell her husband and get the pig beaten up, T stopped her and now she has filed for divorce and for compensation (Which she isn't getting)
I just haven't been able to digest the whole thing. Her father had made a derogatory remark during the wedding of another friend and we had stopped talking because of that. My friend told me that "things were not right" because they are giving him a lot of money to marry their daughter simply because she is "dark-skinned"...
T feels on some level, she is the reason behind the violence!
My friend told me, "Keep out of this, you don't need this complication in your life, simply because she will not listen and her parents never did approve of your friendship because you were 'too modern and liberal thinking'. "
So, it's hard... I know someone who is going thru a difficult time because she has been humiliated so much, but I can do nothing... there is no way to reach out to her and even if I call her, she won't listen to what I have to say. Worse, she won't tell me what's happening...
But, I still don't know why she kept quiet and why she didn't do anything about the whole thing?
How could she keep on getting hurt like this without using her brains to get back at the guy or to walk out??