Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A complaint or a rant?... ugh!

I want to write about a lot of things...
Including the fact that I actually don't harbour the feeling called "jealousy" in me...
I want to talk about how badly my cousin's wedding went for us... how we were excluded, spoken to rudely and ignored.
How my cousins and relatives have spread the rumour that we are jealous of them and that I could have had an abortion in the last couple of months!
Yes, people are saying that it's going to go horribly wrong for my dad and my sis, because he is "letting" her go to USA for her MBA.
All this negativity really pulls me down... yes, I know we shouldn't let such things matter too much.
Yes, it's like giving too much importance to unimportant people. But, still even thru all this good common sense thoughts, one feels let down by the amount of negativity one witnesses...
My cousin is going to Paris and Switzerland for her honeymoon because, apparently all her friends have been there and she is the only one left out!
Now, she was flaunting this in my face that she is going for 10 days on her honeymoon to "phoren" lands!
I remained unimpressed and impassive, well that's give rise to the whole"I am jealous of her" conversation...

It's not like we can't go or that we don't want to visit all those lovely places...
But, right now - our priorities are slightly different and let's face it , I want to visit all those lovely places because WE want to and not because someone else did it first or will be doing it soon!

*I have no clue why I'm justifying my actions here, Do you also think this post is immature?! As I'm reading what I've written, I feel that I'm complaining... but I need to get this off my chest, *

She didn't acknowledge our wishes or the gift I gave her!

The only gits that were acknowledged were the expensive ones given by her friends and another aunt of mine.

Now, this other aunt deserves a special mention here, she gifts the cousin of mine with Champagne glasses and when we are all looking at the gift, she turns to me and says -

"Do you know what they are?!!"

I was so shocked that someone would actually ask another person this question!

What are we - Neanderthals living in dark caves, who eat green leaves and beat our chests and say "oonga boonga?!!"

Also, we were invited to the dinner party at the very last moment, as an after thought. This party was arranged much in advance and my aunt had told my mom how "expensive" it's going to be! So, we were asked to the party only on Saturday evening after it was finalised at some club, because another aunt is a member there.
Now, my question here is, if you wanted to actually invite us, wouldn't you have done it irrespective of the place?
When the venue changed, wouldn't you have told us on the day the club was booked where the party was?
My cousion says - you guys need to come, or else the food will get wasted!!!
(Now, you tell me how one should react to this?!)

They all just hate the fact that we are content, happy and successful in our lives and we don't need to advertise the fact or shout from roof tops to say all this...I think more than anything else, its the contentment with which we lead our lives which hits them. (Major Anti-Jinx here! TOUCHWOOD)
I think it's they who are jealous and insecure! (Should I be even saying this?)

But, how can grown adults with education, loads of life experience, lots of travel actually behave like this?!!

Feeling all better now!*

But, I will not stoop to their levels at any point of time in my life!
I will maintian the dignity that is expected of me in such instances and I will also learn harder to keep my temper in check. It pisses me off big time when people point false fingers at my family... I need to learn not to say anything at that moment. I managed it this time, but a couple of times, I failed my expectations.


Anonymous said...

You are right Pixie.
Dont worry about these people and what they say.
you lead your life the way you want to.

Keep blogging!


mohit said...

hey... this is what a blog is for..right? venting it all out! So even if u complain or rant or plain bi*ch about something, we're gonna read it!

and true.. you shouldn't stoop down to their level... don't take it personally, some people are just annoying! nothing beats the fact that you're happy with urself...
and when people actually behave as badly as they did, all you gotta do is smile, ignore and think of how ure gonna put it on the blog ;)

Galadriel said...

is she an idiot?! who goes to switzerland in february??!!

DewdropDream said...

I never fail to be surprised when I see such people. How can anybody exist like this. Like, why is their life more about competing and putting down someone else rather than just doing something for themselves? Must be a really sad living the way they are ya.

And who said you were justifying your actions? Venting is not justifying :)

Try practising the most contemptuous smirk you can work up, comes in very handy in such situations.

Just a grail said...

Well Hell. I had hoped it would be fun.
But, you are right, they are ones who are jealous, of your love and your contentment. Why that is so threatening to some people is beyond me but it is.

writerzblock said...

Ignore yaar. People like these are meant to boost our ego. We take one look at them and laugh out loud and be glad we are different. As for ranting, it sure does us good, as long as the 'rantee' (is there such a word?!) doesn't not read it.

If it is any consolation, after living here (UK) for the last four years, I was at the doctor's the other day, wearing my new Marks and Spencers T-shirt (the cheapest I could find!!) when a lady came over with a questionnaire. And the first thing she asked me was 'Do you speak English?'

I wish I'd read your post earlier, I would have known exactly what to say... 'Oonga Boonga'


Pixie said...

@everyone: You guys are the best! :)
I felt so much better after reading all what you've written!

And G, she is going in March! :D

And yea, blogging about it helped! and I still need to practice that smirk to perfection!
And you are so right - it is an ego boost! :D

mandira said...

aiyyo that dint go well at all na?some relatives and get together are like that only..worth forgetting.. rant about it and then let it go..
i dont get the big deal with phoren countries and visiting them.. i think india is sooooo worth exploring...i wud rather explore the motherland first...n i wudnt ever go somewhere only because someone else went there.

Timepass said...

The same story happens everywhere dear..just ignore...people who r jealous of us instead tell the reverse that we r jealous of them...inspite of knowing about us..well, its an entertainment for them to speak bad about us, so let us keep them entertained!!

Solilo said...

Pixie, Vent it out. It calms you down.

Such people exist in every family, in every circle. At first try to ignore but if that doesn't work then give them tit for tat. Sometime just ignoring doesn't work. They deserve to be told off or permanently put in invisible state.

Mystic Margarita said...

First of all - hugs. You know insensitive people can be found in every family, and much as you might want to ignore them or try not to feel offended, it's difficult because they are family and you expect a certain level of understanding and decency from them. the other options are to give back as good as you get, or failing that, to blog it out! :)

Renu said...

Pixie, people like them deserve a royal indifference to them, just ignore, they know not what they are doing.
I would say that OK you are capable of going anywhere, but suppose some of our relative is not so well off then.....should be ridicule them?....for me its not a question whether we want to go or not at all, its a common sensitivity to our people, taking care of their feelings, being comnsiderate that counts.
In most of the families, not all the relatives are at the same level financially, but i like to treat all with the same respect, because money has no connection with our relations to any body.
And yes I rhink blog is meant for our feelings:)

Swaram said...

Oh! I sometimes feel so sorry for such people who do not know to enjoy the sweet little things in life and think that just showing off what they have or rather just say they have makes them great. I have seen people around asking their hubby to get jewels, take them for atleast one foreign trip and stuff just bcoz they need to tell others abt it. To top it all, I heard another one saying "Oh, its gud we went to Singapore; I can now put it on my blog. Whats there in Vizag and places like that?" Every little trip I make with my loved ones is valuable to me; even if its just a drive or a bike ride to a nearby lake :P Isn't it the company and love that matters most?

Enchanted said...

Pixie, every family has such people who are insecure themselves and hence spread rumors. And you feeling outraged and venting here is totally understandable and does not sound immature at all. This is exactly how a normal person would feel in such situation.

But why do u say that "I need to learn not to say anything at that moment" These people will not see ur staying silent as a dignified reaction. They are not equipped in their brain to see it. Not a tit for tat but someone needs to show them how wrong they are.

If i were u I would have traced the source of those rumors. Spreading rumors about abortion?? how can anyone think of this?
I would have confronted the person in front of everyone and cleared the air. That would also teach them not to spread it in future. I would have kept my temper in control and still faced them without staying silent. Whats the point of maintaining relations with such people? Its better to be done with them than facing such situations again.

Did u finally go for that after party? I wouldn't have and would have told that cousin to her face my reason for not coming. And watched how she would react :-)
And for the aunt... didn't SHE know what were those when she bought them? Is that why she was asking u? LOL...

Sachin said...

Chill, babe!!! You are cool the way you are.....and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Some people do not deserve to be even spoken about so dont give them that chance at all.... :)

claytonia vices said...

The secret to a peace of mind is to avoid interacting with such ppl... let them keep the negative vibes to themselves!!

Humour would be a good way to face such situations, but I must admit I find it hard to find my humour with such ppl! :D Avoiding them always is such a relief!!

rayshma said...

well... that's what a blog is for!
to vent against such nuisances in our lives and feel better! :D

and btw, it's a really bad time to go to switzerland, u know?!

Pixie said...

@renu: yea, everyone should be treated with respect... the love and affection is more important. But, sadly, people will not always think like this.

@ Mandira: I know... I want to explore my country first too :)
There are so many beautiful places here...

@Timepass and Solilo and MM: Yea, I guess you have them everywhere and yes, venting it out alwyas helps. :) The hugs always helps!

@ Swaram and Enchanted: WElcome! :)
And thank you for the kind words...
Yes, the jewels are always flaunted! I didn't go to the party!! We were invited as an after thought! and yea, they really need to be told off sometimes as that's the best way to shut them up!

@Sachin, Vicky: I'm fine now! The venting out helped!! Sense of humour sometimes fails you in the midst of such people!
@Raysham: Yea! I heard that from G too! :D

rayshma said...

yeah.. just revisited and was reading all the comments! :D

chandni said...


next time they talk abt their holiday plans...tell them u want to go to jhumri talaiyya.

wisegirl said...

you should be like me! indifferent..

Indyeah said...

The serene calm Buddha like face works everytime

Chandni's jhumri talaiyya works too..:D
everytime someone says something,come up with such jhumri talaiyya type works for me..

I irritate them like hell coz they know I am not talking them seriously..rather they have a sneaking suspicion that I am laughing at them;)

Nothing irritates people more than seeing contentment and serenity on another's face..:)

Smitha said...

oh Pixie!! Hugs! People who behave this way are more than likely to be having a huge inferiority complex themselves!! Vent out your anger and just give it back to them the next time!!! Take care