I am not really sure how this thread of conversation started, but start it did and then both of us thought - what the heck - let me blog it!
All this started with the "good morning" mail that I received, which I forwarded to him.
Vicky: good morning! about people loving others for how they make them feel... it is true?
but after marriage I think who they are also starts mattering.... is it?
Me: Sometimes it matters… but, you have married the person for better or worse – so u need to
keep communication lines pretty much open If that can’t be done – the last resort is to opt out of a marriage – again here, it matters how the other person makes u feel. If, she/he is always putting you down, humiliating you – then again – how you feel comes into the picture…
Vicky: yes, u are right...
Me: yeah, it is important to note that things might be better or worse and u need to stick
Vicky: I guess it is love that keeps us going whatever may come...
Me: It’s also respect – for self and the other person.
Even if you love the person – and the other person doesn’t respect you –
you can’t stay in such a relationship – that’s humiliating
Vicky: yeah.... respect... When I met this gal who said 'my parents would not approve' .
I suddenly lost all respect even though everything else seemed perfect... from there
on it was downhill!!
Just yesterday this friend with whom I was supposed to meet up for dinner said
that her dad would completely go into psychopath mode if he found out it was
a guy she was with and so she had to go home before 9pm. She is 26.
She is not ready to softly talk to her parents about it.
I actually was OK with dropping her off too, safely...
but dropping off is the most dangerous thing with respect to the daddy... even I had to
face the same situation when my mom was here but after gathering a lot of courage
I talked about how i needed to stay in touch with people i liked...
Me: Yea… But, 26 is a bit too old to be staying at home also…
I’ve decided I’m kicking out my kids once they are done with their education –
even sooner if they get into college in far away cities!
They need a life/space of their own… I’m so glad my parents told me to get a job in
Bangalore and move out!!! Same for my sis!
It’s not that they don’t love having us home –
but, they love the fact that both of us are bright independent
women with a mind of our own!
Vicky: LOL!! True…
Me: Possessiveness is good, but it shouldn't’t be destructive...
Vicky: Exactly, real love is also about knowing when to let go...
beyond a point growth is not possible if you do not leave home...
It's the reason no.1 I left home... and Yeah I too will kick my kids out... LOL!
Vicky: Pixie, I realise some of our conversations are memorable but we forget it once we delete
our mail archives, which is why i feel we should blog some of them... we need to read
them many years later and feel good :)
There you go, Vicky! Blogged it - so that we won't forget the early morning gyaan we shared with each other thru e-mail with a cup of hot coffee beside us and deadlines gathering dust!
Dreams of parents
6 days ago