Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Lunch Conversation...

Today's lunch turned out be very eventful - more so than usual.
We were(hubby and I) having our lunch peacefully when another couple sat down at our table...They were speaking quite loudly, so we were able to hear the conversation clearly...It went something like this -
She: So, she (some other girl) finally got married!
He: Hmmm... Really?? Good that she married before she became old!


By now, I'm very curious, so I'm eating a bit slowly to see what turn this conversation takes!
(Yes, I am the "slightly curious" sort and in my defense, they were loud!)

She: Yea, she married a Christian! hers is a "love" marriage (In a derogatory tone) She is a proper Gowda!! (What does that mean??) And now she has gone and converted!!!
He: Tsk! Tsk! Very sad... She has just ruined her life! If she has a daughter, who will marry her???
I'm so wonder-struck and I just couldn't help it - looked up and looked at them!
My thoughts were along this line -
How or why should it matter to these 2 what some other girl went and did...
So, what if she married a Christian?
Last time I looked it up - Christians also belong to the same species - Homosapiens!!!
And what does a "Proper Gowda" mean??
Hello - Life is all about love, hope, sharing and more love...As long as these 2 people loved each other, how did it matter to what religion, caste, creed,colour group they belonged to?
And who are these 2 to judge about what happens to their children??
I can understand if a lady/man who doesn't have the right exposure, education speak like this, but these 2 were educated and they are working and this is their mindset...
I looked at my husband, and he knows the signs and said "Don't look at me!!"
I was like - "C'mon, for the sake of an argument..." and he goes "Blog it!!"
So, that's what I have done...

Tell me, does it matter to what religion you belong to when you love and respect your life partner?

I spoke to my mom about this and she had a different view about things and this is what she said:
Different religions have different customs and we as Indians, whether we accept it or not, we are very particular about all this...
She said that as the years go by and the lust, love has all but disappeared, we tend to fall back on the familiar and some may go into depression or resent later on in life that they were made to abandon their particular religion/caste...
However much we progress and call ourselves broad-minded, that regret will arise.
So, if you want to marry someone from a different religion/caste, don't convert yourself,but do learn to respect, follow the other religion/caste as well...

I thought that was wise....

But, its again very circumstantial isn't it?? Some in-laws expect their DIL of a different religion/caste to convert, so she has to for the sake of her marriage/love etc etc... Or the scare that the guy will abandon her.... Sometimes, women are quite low on self-esteem and tend to think that their life starts and ends with their husband.....

What do you think?

10 comments:

The Mad Momma said...

me = christian, husband = hindu. and seriously.. we have yet to have an argument on religion. most of our arguments are abt who gets to decide how we spend money, household chores etc.

its only when the shiv sena steps in that ppl have religion problems.

most of us are moving towards a more global view and its important that my husband changes diapers and helps with homework.

to him its important that his wife understands private equity and the stockmarket so that he can come home and talk abt work.

at the end of the day it depends on what you want. if you are a religious or traditional person you would not be able to make a situation like ours work for u

Pixie said...

MM: Again, I agree with what you have to say...
But, I really couldn't belive that such people existed anymore!!! (the 2 i wrote abt)

Aqua said...

OMG...my mom said the same thing too...and i have even blogged about it some years back. i agree on the "falling back on the familiar bit"

you can read it here.... http://aquadreamer.blogspot.com/2003_06_01_archive.html

PizzaDude said...

What you mom told makes lots of sense!
Whenever I hear people speaking in the way you have mentioned, it really irritates me. I just don't get the necessity of such kind of conversation!

Pixie said...

Aqua: I read ur article and it makes sense and really its great that things are working out for you guys! :)

Pizzadude: Yup! My mom is a really wise lady! :P
Thank you for dropping by! :)

Smi said...

This convo would make a lot of sense if the two people in question were people the age of our grannies!:)
But what your mom says is what a level-headed woman guided by her sensibilities and not just emotion, would have to say.

claytonia vices said...

These people should not be allowed to breed! ;-)

Seriously, it is people who think religion is everything who are causing most of the problems today...

Pixie said...

Vicky: I agree... and also these people are always around and they kind of breed like parasites...

Sundancer said...

It's sad but I think your mom is right...but I still wonder why it has to be that way..

Pixie said...

Sundancer: I don't know... but, such is how we function I guess...
I really don't have an answer, I also don't know if it's 100% accurate!