Happy New Year!

Wishing you and your family a very Happy and Prosperous New Year! :-)

I wish that -

God, gives you grace to accept with serenity the things that can’t be changed,

Courage to change the things You can,

And the Wisdom to know the difference.

P.s: will update more on the work front and what happened after my rant on my blog...
Thank you for the encouraging words which I needed... :-)

Year End Blues...

Hello!

This post is a non-thinking-simply-written posts...
I am bored and kind of depressed - I will put it down to year-end blues...
I liked 2007 - mainly because the numbers added up to 9! (I like the number 9 - that's why! duh!)

Now, 2008 is coming - and it looks very unsure - I knew what I wanted out of 2007 - not that what-all I wanted happened!! But, still...

I have a lot of work as well - trying to undo the crap done by another team mate and she is on a long leave... (i have a load of bad words in my head for this girl)
I wish I had the "License to Kill" like James Bond (he is very sexy...)
I also have a pounding headache, a very sore throat, bad cold and I am seeing double because of the pounding headache. Oh.. did I talking about the cough? No? Its bad - hacking cough is not good....
I also visited the passport office today, sat in the hot sun for 3 hrs to submit some forms which took exactly 5 minutes...
It's winter, there should be no hot-blazing sun. It wasn't so hot yesterday - but, today it was... Bah!

I tried squinting my eyes really hard and tried looking at the monitor - it pinches your cheeks and nothing else happens, except that you look really weird...

I really want to go home, curl up under my cosy blankets and sleep....

I also tried saying the alphabet backwards - nothing happened really, couldn't go beyong "w"
*this just shows I'm bored, in absolutely no mood to work or meet the deadline - which happens to be today*

I tried telling the truth - about a co-worker and how he harasses the others from onsite - how he abuses others by using bad language - no one believed me - even though couple of others have also complained.
Now, the people at onsite say I am a bad-worker (*sob*)
Very demotivating... should I quit and try another company? But, if I do that, will I be labelled as a quitter?
If I stay, everyday - I need to struggle to achieve something - I feel like a fish out of water...
I tell the truth - I hate sucking up to superiors and I believe in integrity - none of which seems to hold any value now-a-days...
Alright, I'm stopping now....

Merry Christmas!

I wish all my 4+ blog friends a Very Merry Christmas!!! :-D

(psst: Very and Merry go well together, don't they?! :P)

Happy Holidays everyone!!!!!!! :-)

Rants, Thoughts...

With my husband back after 3 months, routine has fallen into place again.

I did tell everyone that he went and when he came back, but I never did get around to posting how the experience was - me staying alone for 3 months.

Honestly - I enjoyed myself! I did what I wanted, when I wanted it and how I wanted...(Not that my husbands restricts anything)

I did miss him - his presence was sorely missed - but, I wasn't lonely or sad or depressed... People ask me - "So, now you are happy is it? that your husband is back?"

I'm like - "huh?!"

I was happy in his absence too... but, I really don't know why people don't understand that.

Why is it that he is expected to "enjoy" himself and I am supposed to be all "sad" and"lonely" and "depressed"?

I did the usual things - I went for walks, shopped, met friends, went home to Mysore,watched TV, listened to music... *you get the drift right?*

One of my cousins asked me - "So, how is your life all alone? Are you bored?"

I felt like whacking him on the head with a pipe!I wasn't alone!!

I mean, my husband went out of town for 3 months - he didn't leave me!!and BORED?! I had no words to express...

Another friend I know thought I would be moping at home, but when I told her I was out shopping for books at Crosswords she was speechless!

WHY? What is wrong with me? Why do I know such weirdos? I seriously need to make different friends and pretend NOT to know these people!!!

I learnt a lot too - to handle things on my own, to make decisions alone quickly without consulting my husband (like - whether red bedspreads go well with our curtains...they don't by the way!)

If need arises, I don't mind him going again for another 3 months - though I prefer he goes for a longer term - like 2 yrs, so I can go with him and do something different with my life - other than coding inane stuff and sweating over deadlines!



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We talk a lot about respect and individuality. We stress the need and scream ourselves hoarse by insisting that women should be respected and equality is our birth right.

But, the more I look around, I see that it's the women who need to respect themselves first. Then, expect respect from others...

Unless you respect yourself first, don't expect someone else to do it for you. I think we need to value ourselves more.... What do you think?

We teach our kids respect, but unless the child sees the father and mother respect each other, how will he/she actually understand it?



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There's also the question of marriage - I saw a couple of posts about it on Sue's blog and though I didn't comment on it there - she sure made me think...

Marriage to me is faith and honesty... Be it love or arranged, we all start out with placing our trust with the other individual and then later on in stages, we build on it.

It also means making adjustments to each other's temperments... I'm the emotional kind and he isn't. I get angry easily and he is the sort who lets his anger simmer - I have learnt to recognise the signs - and I leave him alone until he comes out with what's bothering him... We have also learnt to keep t he communication lines open however difficult it gets and this has worked for us - we don't fight too much these days...

He doesn't tell me everything - certain things he feels I don't need to know - I respect that and I back off - I have learnt over the years to let go and not ask or insist he tell me everything and this I have realised will make sure he tells me most of the things...

This has worked for us... again, I am not pointing out fingers or making suggestions about marriage or trust factors here - We are still figuring out a lot of things...

But respecting each other's view points and trying to figure out why the other person feels so strongly about certain issues is helping us take our relationship to a another level... :-)


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I went shopping with a friend to Bangalore Central - she is getting married and her husband has insisted that she wears jeans and be comfortable in them - a tall order to a girl who has never worn jeans!

I seem to have the patience of a saint - if you don't mind me saying so! I made her feel and look comfortable in jeans in a matter of few hours!

But, she fusses! OMG! How she fussed! I was so close to losing it! But, each time I kept remembering that she has never done this kind of thing before!!

Well, I had fun spening someone else's money for a change!!! :-)

Happy Weekend!!

Hello!
It's not like I've stopped blogging...
Some of my favorite bloggers are closing shop...
I hope they come back soon -
*Poppins Mom - Do you hear me?!*

It's just that I've been so busy with work and today is my deadline.
I really hope that the next couple of weeks won't be this bad...

The past couple of days have been eventful... with work and change in projects from Monday - it's been hectic and that's an understatement!


I really do have a lot of things to write - you know the ideas keep coming and overflowing, but this time, I didn't write them down anywhere - so, its all stuck in my head and I haven't had time to sit and compose a decent post in a long time...

Happy Weekend! Hope all you lovely people out there have loads of fun with your loved ones! :-)

One more Tag!

I "lifted" this tag off from Swati!!! I like doing them and they are so much fun, so here goes!
It's the Number Four Tag...

Four Ladies I admire:
My Mother
Grail
Kiran Bedi
Rakhi Sawant - her unapologetic straight forwardness!! (I am serious here!)

Four Favourite Foods:
Curd Rice and Pickle
Bisi Bele Bath (A very typical Karnataka Rice dish)
Masala Dosa
Kheer (it's a sweet)


Four Favourite Drinks:
Red Wine
Chocolate Milkshake
Chocolate Milk
Coffee

Four Fondest memories:
My 2 yrs stay in Denver, Colorado when I was a kid
The time I spent with my husband in Mysore before marriage
Ramya Hotel (a restaurant in Mysore) with my grandfather
Piano lessons at Good Shepard convent!


Four Unforgettable Days:
My wedding
The day I fought with the school board saying girls aren't given equal rights in sports
My first Bharatanatyam programme (I was terrified!)
The day I met my best friend V in another friend's Lab in the university.

Edited to add:
(I picked this up from Rayshma)
Four TV Shows I Like:
Desperate Housewives
That 70's show/Sa Re Ga Ma Pa - not the children's contest going on now...
Friends
Ugly Betty/Heroes


And now time for confession ...Four things I should work on:
My temper
My career
My moodiness (I'm terribly moody)
My procrastination

Anyone and everyone is welcome to take up this tag! :-)

Tagged!

Hi! Me got tagged by Rayshma. It's the 22 questions men want an answer to!
*like that's gonna answer all the questions about us women!*

So, here goes

1. How do you feel after a one night stand?
It depends on how the "stand" went!!!

2. Do you ever get used to wearing a thong?
Erm... Should I start now? or later?

3. Does it hurt?
What Hurts? Is there something new out there that I don't know about? how is it done??

4. Do you know when you are acting crazy?
Yeah... Always... that's why it's so much more fun!

5. Does size really matter?
Of course! Always - and YES, it matters with the bank balances and diamonds as well!

6. When the bill comes, are you still a feminist?
No!! Never! Why take away the privilege from you?! *especially when footing a huge bill!*

7. Why do you take so long to get ready?
Like CeeKay says - Perfection is an art and can not be hurried.

8. Do you watch porn, too?
No, it's boring - but, if that's what turns you on - then go ahead - I'll watch you instead!!

9. Will something from Tiffany’s solve everything?
Not really, but it's a start - go ahead and try...

10. Are guys as big of a mystery to you as you are to us?
NO...There really isn't much to understand is there?!

11. Why do you sometimes think you look fat?
I'm giving you a chance to fall flat on your face when you say yes - which is again a lure for something from Tiffany's.

12. Why are you always late?
Please check the answer to #7

13. Does it bother you when we scratch?
Yes. It reminds me of my pet dog at home and a strong urge to say "shoo" arises!

14. Do you wish you could pee standing up?
No... Does that make you feel special? Does it?!

15. Why do so many women cut their hair short as soon as they get married?
It's therapeutic!

16. How often do you think about sex?
Why? Are you thinking about it NOW?

17. What do you think of women who sleep with guys on the first date?
Are we talking about just sleeping here??

18. Would you?
Are you that boring?

19. Do you realize every guy wants a girl just like his mom?
Thankfully, No, he doesn't. Evolution would have taken a back step if that had been the case!

20. Why does every woman think she can change him?
Like Rayshma says - we all "hope" for a better tomorrow... a better future.

21. Does it matter what car I drive?
Nope. Does it matter to you that I'm a better driver?

22. Do you ever fart?
Yes, but since you don't seem to know about it - let's not talk about it either.

I am not going to tag anyone with this, everyone I know has already done the tag! :-)

I am back! after a self-imposed hiatus of more than 15 days...Where was I? Slogging away in the office.
The week after Diwali, my sister fell sick - so, I had to juggle office and had to get home to cook her something since outside food is a strict NO at such times as instructed by my mom!
After that, I fell sick for a couple of days and then, had so much work that some of it was coming out of my nose and ears too!

Oh, the festival rocked and I missed my husband lots!

He will be back by the end of this week and I'm looking forward to opening all those precious gifts he would have got his precious wife! Heh!!
*I did twist his arm just a tiny bit for a couple of earrings I saw on a website though!*

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Oh and this weekend - Saturday to be more precise - Me and a friend - we went to Shoppers Stop in Garuda Mall.
There as usual - we didn't buy anything much (I did buy a pair of sandals though - they are so sexy and so comfortable and that m'dears is an awesome combination!)
But, we did comment a lot on most of the stuff and my favorite one is - my friend has a thing for belts - he buys them all the time and so, he saw some belts by Allen Solly and they were really expensive (Rs.900 I think)
He was on the verge of buying one, when I told him - very loudly, in Kannada - "don't buy them here da - try the corner of Brigade Road, you get the same stuff without the brand label for Rs. 100 only!"
Then, turned around to see the salesman glaring away at us!!! We beat it out of there, pretty fast, I tell you!

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I also saw this couple with 2 kids at the bus stand while I was going on home for the Diwali weekend -
The Lady was struggling with a huge bag and a kid who wouldn't hold the mom's hand in the crowded bus stand and the guy (read this!) was holding onto the younger kid's hand and the kid's fur lined purse!!! He was also screaming at his wife to hurry up! The poor thing was not only struggling with a heavy bag, but also with a toddler who wouldn't hold still... felt like whacking him on the head!

I saw the movie = "Devil Wears Prada" on Star Movies over the weekend and I didn't like it much. They show the boy friend walking away and the best friend not being supportive because she got good at her job. It also showed Meryl Streep (it's her right? I'm so bad with Hollywood actors' names) getting a divorce again because she is successful... I don't know.... it's just a movie, but are men really that intimidated by powerful and successful women??

I know this lady at work - she hasn't told her husband about her salary hike because it's more than his and she still makes it a point to remove the extra cash from her account before she goes home at the beginning of each month....

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!

Wish you all a very Happy, Prosperous and a Safe Diwali! :-)

With Lots of Love and Cheer

Pixie

Dumbledore's Sexuality

A lot of hue and cry has been raised about the fact that Rowling "declared" that the Headmaster of Hogwarts - Dumbledore is Gay...
The argument has gone on both in the blogging world and out of it. Since, so much has been written about this and instead of hogging the comment's space of fellow bloggers - I decided to post my 2 cents worth on the same topic...
When I first heard/read that "Dumbledore was gay" article on the Internet, my first reaction was - So? How does it matter?
Whether he is a Homo or a Hetero, what does it matter?It's a fictitious character and what does it matter?
Then, I went ahead and read the various reactions to it. The first was - it was a major victory to the LGBT Community.
How?
How is it a victory if a fictional character is declared gay? How is it helping the LGBT community in fighting for their rights/acceptance?

This so-called declaration has made sure that the parents don't let their children pick up the 5 - 7 series' books at any age below 10-12...
Right?
I mean, if I had kids now - I would make sure that they read age-appropriate books which fuel their mental growth, which in turn will help them at a later stage to understand what "Being Gay" actually means...
Mad Momma has written a balanced post on the whole issue here which is so appropriate.
How many of us would explain the terms homosexual to a child below 10-12 yrs of age?

Why should children grow up any faster? She makes a very valid point by saying that -
"I'd rather they sit under a tree and eat jam and scones a la Enid Blyton."
Again, arguments arose for her article for which she says again -
" GAY IS NOT AN ISSUE BUT BRINGING UP A CHARACTER'S SEXUAL ORIENTATION IN A CHILD'S BOOK IS POINTLESS. " Which is again true!
* MM you had me nodding all along! *
Here, the question is not about Gay couples or whether they can provide the necessary security children should have. It doesn't mean that all heterosexual couples are giving the required security for children - no, it just means that the sexual orientation of a fictional character is pointless.
Why bring it up now? When you say your books are targeted for children - why bring this out now?? What is the point?
Again, I ask the same question - how is it actually helping the LGBT community?
Will the declaration of Dumbledore's sexuality make Gay marriages/relationships legal?
Will parents across the globe stop treating homosexuality as a contagious disease? NO...

Our society is rife with prejudices against LGBT communities...
And I just spoke to a colleague - and he said that - now, after all this - he doesn't want his 8 yr old son to read the 5th book of the series and he won't be buying it!!!

You will find people of this sort of mentality more than the ones who say - it's alright.

I really don't think that this has helped the Gay community...
More awareness, more acceptance is needed and that is happening very slowly and I definitely don't think Rowling's declaration has helped anyone - Homo or Hetero in conquering their fears, prejudices...
Its really a death for children's literature as MM aptly mentions...
We still symbolise innocence with children - I don't think that we want that to be taken away from us...

Please note: This doesn't mean I am against or prejudiced against the LGBT community.It just means that the sexual orientation of a fictitious character isn't helping anyone...

Happy Weekend!

I received this as a FWD and it's so nice, I just had to share it!
I am really not sure of the origin of this or who actually wrote it, but it's nice nevertheless!

When u really want something,

sometimes u have to swim a little ....Deeper....

You can't give up just because things don't come easy....

You have to overcome the obstacles and face your fears....

But in the end, it's all worth while!!!!

Life is full of ups and downs,

But if u believe in yourself...

U will always come through with flying colors.....

Value Friendship, Love and Faith...

Never underestimate yourself.

Happy Weekend Everyone! :-)

Points to Ponder

1. Never drink Butter milk after an afternoon lunch - especially if you have to get back to work and you have a deadline!
It makes you so damn sleepy that I have stared seeing everything double, my cheeks and jaws hurt from all the yawning...

2. I have this team mate - and his wife is pregnant - he was at the client's place - on site till last month and now because of her pregnancy - he is back here and his wife is at her mom's place.
Now, there's nothing wrong with that right? Right. BUT, he doesn't visit her every weekend! He says - "what can I do? She will stay there till the baby is 6-9 months, because until then I can't do much with the baby."
So, I ask him - "Aren't you going to help her? Doesn't she need you?"
(I'm dumb like that - I just can't shut up!)
He looks at me blankly and says - "What can I do? Taking care of the baby is the wife's job!"
It was my turn to look at him blankly after that!
Is this attitude right?
I don't know much about babies, pregnancies etc - but, I do know one thing - I want my husband with me ALL the time - except when he has to work! I mean, won't he miss out important milestones like rolling over, burping, baby poop, talking, crawling, walking etc etc...
I find his attitude very wrong... Am I wrong in judging his attitude towards his wife, child?
(I know judging is bad, but people help me out here!)

3. Why does the cell phone ring - the call always from home when you either have to pee badly or you are in a meeting?

4. Why is it that you are taken for granted for taking leave for family functions because you are the "woman", but it's understandable that the husband can't take leave because he has to "work" and meet "deadlines"
(This happens even if you are in the same profession!)

5. Why does your manager walk up to you to discuss a very serious issue when you are smiling away and trying hard not to giggle while reading a really funny post on a blog or
e-mail??

Do you have any more? I seem to have so many, but right now, I am really too sleepy to think and then type them out! (Whew!! I really work too hard!!!!! :-D)

Go on and add them, the comments section is your space! :-)

New Template!!!

Well... What do you think? :-)
Is it nice? Should I keep it?

Rayshma changed her template and I found the link to the new template website on her blog and used it to change mine!!!
So, should I keep it??? Let me know folks! Was the previous one better?

My very first award!

Me got the "Power of Schmooze" award! Yay!!! My very first Blogging award and I'm honoured...

*taking a bow and then breaking into a gig*

Thank you Poppins Mom for this awesome award! :-)

I pass on this award to

Rayshma - I love the way she writes, her sense of humour is great and she makes me laugh and think about the stuff she has written

Illusionaire - He writes well - very profound stuff and his sense of humour when turned on is awesome!

Swati - She too writes well, her posts have always left a mark on my mind and she always comments on my posts! :-)

Grail - One of my favorite bloggers and human beings... she was one of the very first blogs that I read...

Thanks again Poppins Mom, I'm truly touched and honoured... :-)

Edited to Add: Cantaloupes Amma has also passed on the award to me! I am so thrilled!!! My very first award and I get it from 2 super people!!
*break into Chandler-like dance with arms waving about!*

Good bye my friend...

Death is so final... Isn't it?
It happens in a second and then everything just turns around and life comes to a stand still and you wish desperately that you can turn time and bring the person back to life...

Why am I talking about death now?
My close friend - Praveen passed away on a road accident on Tuesday night...

He was travelling home after work around 11 PM when it happened. He died on his way to the hospital. This happened on Hosur Road...

I came to know yesterday morning when another friend called up and told me and that they were on their way from Mysore... I told him not to joke about the death.
He said no, he wasn't joking...I was shell-shocked and rushed to St.Johns...

You know, all the way, I thought it was some sort of a cruel joke and that he wasn't dead I mean, how could someone who was so full of life be dead???
I rushed to the morgue and then, when I saw his parents, and another friend sitting so lost and desolate, did it hit me that he was actually dead.
I saw his body - he was so still and lifeless - I wanted to tell him to cut the crap and wake up... His mom was inconsolable and kept crying and asking what went wrong and that he must have been so scared when he realised that he was dying...

It was a bad scare really - to see someone lying there - cold and lifeless and then trying to console his family when all you want to do is actually wake up and realise its all a dream...

But, this was no dream - it was every one's nightmare come true. The doctor said a postmortem had to be done - to determine how he died...

The back of his skull was cracked open and there was a wound on his face - that's it. Not a scratch on his body - anywhere... I saw them wheel his body into the autopsy room - lift him and place him on the table with clinical precision. The students and doctors intent on their work didn't see me standing there.One student started cleaning off the blood from his face and back of his head.I wanted to tell them to be careful - not to hurt him because he already had a severe wound on the back of his head... then, I realised that it didn't matter because he was dead...

I was then asked to leave and the doors closed and was locked... The police came to register a complaint - to check if it was a skid and fall or a hit and run case.

How did it matter? He was not going to wake up and tell us what actually happened...

They brought him out of the autopsy room and the body was handed over to his parents.He was bound together in a green body bag and he looked peaceful even...They took him to the crematorium and then his ashes were taken home so that the death ceremonies could be done properly so that his soul rests in peace...
I came home when they were taking his body to the crematorium - still not able to digest the fact that my close friend - my husband's mentor in his first company and close friend for 4yrs was no more...

He was a guy who lived - you know, really lived. He had loads of friends everywhere...He made friends easily, organised trips, fashion shows, cultural activities with the snap of his fingers... He was in love - with life and with the girl he had promised to marry.

I had seen the look on his face when he was with her, when he spoke of her...

I don't know how she is doing - she stays in Hyderabad... I don't have her number - they had promised each other a life time of happiness... I remember when they had come home for dinner - he was so particular about how my kitchen was arranged and he was telling her that they too need to buy the same brand of sandwich maker,fridge, they needed to colour-code their plastic containers too...
He was eager to live... now, all that was over in a minute...

I pray for his soul and his family and his girlfriend to have the strength to pass thru these difficult times...

May his soul rest in peace...

Goodbye my dear friend...

God Bless

One more....

She loved her job and the feeling of being wanted by her team, friends. Maybe that was because of the feeling of inadequacy developed from her early days of childhood.
She dreaded leaving her cubicle everyday, those 4 walls were her "home" where she worked, was happy and was herself, even though it was for a very short period of time. She dreaded ringing the bell at night and the door being opened to another indifferent world, which so was not hers... Where everything she did was judged and where love was not forth coming.

Today, she walked even more slowly, her steps faltering as she reached nearer and nearer her compound. She dreaded ringing the door bell and for a moment had the same wild though of running away without telling...
But, she knew that wasn't possible and that she had to go home... Her thoughts were still on the words that came from her Project manager, telling her how good she was and that she was able to travel to the land of Exotic dreams and places, where, even the smallest of her dreams would come true... she knew that the opportunity she was waiting for all her life was being passed up, not because of her worth.. she knew how good she was, but because of her inability to go...

She reached the dreaded door bell and rang it. It was opened by her cold and distant husband who didn't even smile at her. She sighed and walked in to wash and get dinner ready for the man she was stuck with for eternity...

And just when she felt resigned in her fate, a small voice rang out from the darkness, calling her and beckoning her so that she could be hugged and then she realised that she was alive for her daughter thru whom she would try to live her dreams...

She smiled to herself and went in to pick her daughter up and hug her....
Life all of a sudden had more meaning than ever....

Tags Galore!!!

Yay!!! Me got tagged twice! One was the middle name tag and the other was the quirks tags!


I've been tagged by Timepass to list one fact related to my life for every letter of my middle name. I do have a middle name, but, I love my blog name - Pixie, so I will take up the tag for Pixie itself!

The three rules to be followed are:
a) The rules must be mentioned in the beginning of the tag.
b) You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
c) At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter ofyour middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

P: Persistent - I am extremely Persistent about what I what - very determined to have it
and I do manage to achieve/get what I want at the end of the day.
I: Impatient: - I am extremely impatient about the smaller things - like waiting in a queue,
you know - day to day stuff...
X: Xtravagent - Yes, I know it starts with an "E", but I really didn't get a word which suits
me which starts with an X!!! ;-)
I: Intelligent: I do consider myself to be intelligent, no doubt about this at all! :-)
E: Easy-going: *Stop snickering!* I am easy going,
I usually agree and I don't fuss about things... :-)

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One more tag from Rayshma!
To list my quirks... So, here goes!
1. I bite my nails a lot - when I'm unsure of things, when I'm bored, when I feel like it (you get the drift!!)
2. Everything has a designated place in my kitchen - if things are out of place - I will first set it
right and then cook... I get really upset if things are moved around and not put back...
The thing is - this is true only with the kitchen - rest of the house - it doesn't matter!
3. All my mails have to be read in my office mail box. However busy I maybe, I make sure that there are zero unread mails at any given time - I just can't concentrate on my work if there are unread mails in my mail-box!
4. When I apply nail polish - I have this urge to scrape it off, which I usually do within the hour I have applied it! After, its been scarped off, I re-apply and leave it alone for a couple of days!
5. I can eat curd rice and pickles at any time of the day!! I used to eat it at 7 in the morning before attending lab during college days. Even now, curd rice and pickles is heaven and its also comfort food!!!

Everyone I know have already done these 2 tags, but if there is anyone who hasn't done them - then go ahead and do the tag!!!!! :-)

Goodbye....

She knew the time had come. She had to say good-bye to him as a new life awaited her.
She pulled the shawl closer to her as she felt a sudden chill. She also knew even without looking back that he had come.
She turned around and saw the all too familiar face, the slightly unshaven cheeks, the deep brown eyes which had lost its twinkle. He tried to hold her hand, she pulled away, too scared about the all too familiar touch which had once ignited the passion from the bottom of her soul. He kept looking at her with one question in his eyes for which she had no answer...

He: Is it time to go?
She: Yes
He: Again, I am asking you, why?
She: It wasn't meant to be....
He pulled her close to him, for the last time.. Smelt her hair, her perfume for the very last time. He kissed those lips that he thought was his for the very last time.
She pulled away and there were tears in her eyes as she slowly walked away from the only person she would ever love...
She walked away into the fading evening as he stood watching silently with tears in his eyes...
She turned back just once and then kept walking....
He watched her till he could see her no more and then turned back and walked away from a thousand dreams, hopes and the only love of his life....


Edited to Add: Vicky sent this song, which seemed apt with this post, so here it is:

Where are you?
Why do you hide?
Where is that moonlight trail that leads to your side?
Just like the moonraker goes in search of his dream of gold,
I search for love, for someone to have and hold,
I've seen your smile in a thousand dreams,
Felt your touch and it always seems,
You love me,
You love me.

Where are you?
When will we meet?
Take my unfinished life and make it complete
Just like the moonraker knows
His dream will come true someday
I know that you are only a kiss away

I've seen your smile in a thousand dreams,
Felt your touch and it always seems,
You love me,
You love me.

(from James Bond 007 - Moonraker, 1979)

An experience to Last a Lifetime!

Friday was one day that I will not forget for a long time to come...
As most people know it had been raining like crazy for a couple of days last week here in Bangalore...
On Friday, since most of us were going home for the Ganesha Festival - we left office early - because of the predictions that it would take 2-3 hrs to cross Hosur Road - which was mostly under water...
So, me and another friend we set off at 2, hoping that we would reach home by 5 at least...
(I will call my frn S here...)
But, our bus got stuck in Traffic half way thru Hosur road and the driver tried to turn the bus back to Electronic City.
So, most of us got down from the bus and started walking, hoping that we would get an auto.
But, as luck would have it, there were no autos and we just kept walking with another lady, who was very anxious to get home to her baby...
When we were nearing our destination - the Silk Board Junction - we saw that the rest of the
way was flooded and that the water levels kept raising. We decided that we would keep walking and cross the flyover...
Little did we realize what we had gotten ourselves into...
The water was a mix of rain water and drainage water (yuck!) and the water current was pretty strong...
The 3 of us held hands and started crossing the road to get to the flyover...
In the middle of this were a bunch of good-for-nothing guys who were splashing the dirty
water on everyone and calling out obscenities!
The water was knee length and we managed to cross the road... without any mishaps.
We walked over the flyover and then managed to get an auto for our destinations...
The worst part of this was - none of the cars were stopping to give a ride - at least to cross
the damn water... The police were not being very cooperative with anyone who complained
about the bad behavior of the boys who were splashing water...
I also learnt that a little bit of courage will take one a long way and that my friend S
was not someone who would back-off in times of adversity...
I also know that this might be nothing when compared to the experiences some people have
had with the rain and the floods - but, for the 3 of us it was an unforgettable experience
and for the lady going home to her baby - it was traumatic too...
God did guide us that day and gave us the courage to cross the road - which was not only
flooded, but most of the women were being splashed at or had obscenities screamed at them...
We also saw a bus which stopped right in all that water and the stupid Driver was urging the
ladies to get down in that water - he refused to stop the bus a bit further - on the flyover!
As those ladies were trying to get down, those boys kept splashing water at them!!!
We were stinking by the time we managed to get an auto, but we also felt liberated (I know, it sounds weird) that we did manage to cross without any mishaps...

September 14th, 2007 will always be etched in my memory - for that day - 3 ordinary girls,
managed quite an extraordinary feat!!
(It may not be as bad as getting stuck on the road inside a bus or getting stuck in the office...
Our houses weren't flooded and we didn't lose anyone in those 2 days, but it was an ordeal
for 3 very ordinary girls who had never had such an experience before!)

A Bit of This and That...

This weekend was peaceful... Yup, that's the word I would use to describe it...
Met my very close friend on Saturday and had lunch together - we had a great time and I'm hoping that we get to repeat it again...
We went to Garuda Mall - and did a bit of window shopping - which means - I dragged him into all the shops and he, poor chap came in and gave the appropriate answers for all my comments! (Very sweet of him!!) though at the end of it all inside Shoppers stop he asked me quite seriously how my husband survived one of these trips!!!
In Garuda Mall, especially on the weekends - you get to see a variety of weirdos in weird and allien get-ups!
I am wonder-struck by it every time without fail!!!
My one major question is - how do the parents put up with it??
Or are they ignorant as to how their kids dress when they hang outwith friends??
Or, maybe they all change clothes in the restrooms after getting to the mall?!!
What kind of a wardrobe is that - almost falling off jeans and blink and you can miss it tops,or the ragged t-shirts...
We saw this kid - who was dressed in over-sized t-shirt, track pants and shoes - he was tightly holding his - ummmm - "property" (You know what I mean!!) and walking all around!
Shouldn't such people be thrown out??

-----------------------

I just read this and found it scary and the feeling of helplessness increased.
But, it also made me wonder - what would I have done? Would I have helped her?Why have our people become so cruel? does no one care anymore??
When I asked my friend - he said I was naive! Huh?!! Naive because I spoke of helping another human being in distress??
He said no one wanted the harassment of getting entangled with the local authorities...how sad is that? We live in such a sad world...

------------------------

It's been a week since my husband left for USA on work - it's been an eventful week...I have missed him and he has been on my thoughts constantly, but I am not sad or mopey or depressed which is a good sign :-)

-------------------------

What is it when your higher-ups at work think that you are doing a good job only if you stay back late? I have never figured this out still, after all these years of experience...
The guys who stay back late are the "hard-working" ones... you mention that Bangalore is quite unsafe now-a-days and you want to get home early,you get cheesy comments like -
"so-and-so used to stay back till 11 or 12 and nothing ever happened to her!" or
"Let me drop you home..." (Said with a smirk on the face)
Good that nothing happened to her, but we have a life outside this office... is it so hard to get that?
Most of them have no sort of personal lives - they meet their wives/friends/family over the weekend... is that time enough?
What's the deal of a weekend marriage? Why get married then in the first place? What happened to maintaining some sort of balance?
Recently, credit was given to the guys who stayed late and did the work, not us who completed everything on time for the onsite guys to take it cross to business for approval or clarifications...

Team work has always been important to me - but, I see that the better you gel with your team mates, there is at least one guy who is trying to break you guys up with some sort of misunderstanding...
So, basically even if you are in the same team, you got to be deadly enemies and make sure that your team mate or one of your juniors get the blame... what kind of team work is that??

If I keep talking about this - I can go on and on and on... and it's all so negative and childish...

-------------------------------------
I don't really know how to end this post - so I'm stopping now...

-------------------------------------

.....

My husband will be flying to the USA next weekend on work and he will be back in December… I have mixed feelings about the whole thing really…
I am very happy and proud of him…. (I know it’s not a big deal when everyone other person flying out these days, but it’s a first for us, so we are happy!)
But, I will miss him terribly… I have not been away from him for more than 15 days since the day we met – and that’s like 7 yrs ago!!!
Ever since we became friends, we have been together – went out together, did stuff together… even after marriage, he is still my first choice (I’m not talking about sis, parents here) to go out anywhere… if he doesn’t want to go, I have willingly postponed going out so that I have his company later on when we do go out…
I hate going out alone without him anywhere (again, parents and sis are not being mentioned here)
…. And now, for 3 months or more I have to manage everything (OK, almost everything!) alone…
I am not afraid of going out alone, but I am sad that I have to do it alone…

** To whom will I crib every night while cooking about the so-called inefficiencies of the people in my project?
** Most importantly, who will do the tasting and tell me each and every time that the food is great, but go ahead and add that extra pinch of salt!!?
** Who will give out my daily dose of vitamins after breakfast every morning and make sure I pop that calcium tablet in mouth so that I won’t have too many problems later on?
** I will miss his goofing around in the house, him, being everywhere, fiddling with this and that…

The house will be silent…

** With whom will I discuss/fight about the singers in Sa Re Ga Ma Pa? I will have to watch that on Friday and Saturday nights alone….

I will miss everything that there is about him…

This sucks…

One of my friends’ said, this is the time for me to do as I wish, but that didn’t register since he has never come in the way of me doing anything I want… he has always encouraged it…

This really sucks…

Damn! I will miss him and I wish December comes quickly….

Tagged Again!

Grail tagged me, she wrote about the different things she admires in people. We seem to have lot many things in common which includes what we admire in other people! So, I will exclude what she has written and put up my list. You can read her remarkable stuff here.

-> I admire people who are always cheerful and hide their emotions from strangers. You know, the sort who doesn’t let on that something’s going on in their life/that particular day…
-> I admire people who can read and write Kannada very fluently. My mother-tongue is such a beautiful language.
-> My parents for sticking to their belief and not wavering even when things were rough for them.
-> My grandfather who was my first best friend. He died before he could see what sort of a woman I turned out to be. (He would have been so proud! I just know it!!)
-> Women who stand up for their rights against all odds and adversaries and win their battles.
-> I admire the really hard working types. Like my previous Team Lead. He used to word so hard and he was always cheerful and always ready to lend a helping hand – whatever be the situation.
-> I admire people who show respect to everyone and are not biased based on caste, gender or religion. (Religious tolerance now-a-days is so low and racism has reached an all time high).
-> I admire bloggers who write their mind and are not afraid to voice out their opinion about anything and everything. I also admire bloggers who have the knack of creating great banners, advertisements/changes to their template…
-> I admire people who don’t have any bad habits like nail-biting, hair twirling, cracking knuckles (you get the drift right?!). I always bite my nails when I’m unsure about things… so, a manicure is such a waste on my nails!!
-> Last but not the least – I admire my husband for his never-say-die positive attitude, for his ability to think calmly in most situations and for standing up to what is right and his caring and sensitive attitude.
-> I also admire one lady a lot – she is a single mother of 4 boys, her attitude is awesome and the way she writes, thinks has helped me so much. She manages to make me cry and laugh just by her posts and if she were any closer – I would invite her out and toast her with champagne! Yup, it’s Grail! :-)
-> Final one, I admire working moms (I have nothing against SHAMS – they are also great moms), but Working moms need to balance so much I think and need to do everything so correctly… And I’m terrified whether I will do it right when we have kids…

There! That’s my list – yes, its long… :-)
Anyone who stops by and hasn’t taken up this tag yet are most welcome to take it up!!

Long Vacation!!

Before I start publishing my posts - HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY! :-)


Ok, I am back after a loooo...ng break and the reasons are
1. All the blog sites have been blocked at work ($#@%#$%^!) and we still don’t have internet at home… so basically, it sucks not having access to blog, blog-surf .
Also, even if I did have access at work – I have been swamped with a lot of things and have been very busy.
(Yes, I got the change I had asked for! And a raise!!! Yippee!!)
The new work is pretty taxing and tedious – but, it’s a change I wanted…
(Now if you think a rant is not coming, you are wrong! That, I’m quite sure will happen pretty soon too!!!)
I know I'm a month late on this - but, I still thought I'd put in my thoughts -
Now, has everyone read the new Harry Potter book? Did you all like it? The hype which surrounded the book – well, the actual book, I felt didn’t live up to it…
(Now, please don’t say rude things or bash me up on this… because I am a Harry Potter fan – and I have been waiting for the very last book since the day I finished reading the 6th book)
I still feel the sixth book was better – it was darker… the 7th book is a happy book – but she leaves so many things unsaid –
-> What happened to the Durselys?
-> How do Tonks, Lupin die?
-> What did Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny become after finishing school?
Don’t get me wrong – I loved the book and didn’t put it down till I finished it, but so many questions were answered and so many were left unfinished….

Also, my sister has done a post on Women’s rights and abortions here - http://wisegirl109.blogspot.com/
Go on and check it out…
It’s right on so many levels and people will have different opinions, but what she says kind of makes sense…

Grail tagged me to talk about things which I admire in others so that’s coming up next (I know it was so long ago, but I'm still taking it up)
This post is done at work - since today is a holiday we have access - but our team has to work today...

Random Thoughts...

Just random thoughts today. Nothing really related.

- Why is it that each time I remove my shoes and get comfortable, someone calls me over to their cubicle?

- Why is Bangalore weather so weird?

- Why do friends, who have come to you during their times of crisis/problem always manage to push you away when something nice is happening to them? Are they really friends?

- Why isn't my cough going away to a far away land? Any far away land will do!

- With my bad throat, why do I ALWAYS feel like eating ice cream?

- What pleasure do people get when they hurt someone? What kind of sadistic human being likes seeing another person suffer?

- Why do I have so much work?

Update on the work front: Transferring my knowledge to another extremely reluctant guy in the team - he doesn't like being told what to do - especially by a "girl"...
Very difficult to work with such people.
I still don't know if my roles/responsibility will change shortly or not...

- Why do I always get such idiots to work with?

- Why is everything so gloomy today?

I feel depressed - no specific reason - it's the work, I guess - thankless and never-ending.
- Is it wrong to feel so ungrateful about it?

Bah!

My Engagement Story:

Grail did a great post on one of her friend's popping the question to his sweetheart and she goes on to ask "what's your engagement story?"
Since mine was a bit out of the ordinary, I thought I'd do a post on it!
So, here goes -
It was a day after my birthday and we decided to visit the Chamundi Hills - the temple to be more specific, because we couldn't go the previous day!
So, we have a great time as usual and while we were returning back, the conversation went to how my parents were looking for an "arranged" match and that none of the guys were good enough and basically all of them were morons!
The conversation that happened next is something I will never ever forget!

Me: Compatibility, understanding, trust, the ability to make conversation, love etc etc are all very important! I can't marry a guy just because he is settled in a different country and earns in Dollars and not Rupees!

After a couple of minutes of silence... (Remember, we are still ON the bike going back home!)

Hubby: So, then... will you marry me?!
Me: Huh?!!! WHAT?!!!
I'm stunned into silence...
( We were planning on going to Coffee Day before going home )
Me: Take me home! I don't wanna go to Coffee Day...
Hubby: Hey! I was joking! don't take it seriously... You will see the fun side of it after you have your coffee...

I'm silent... and we arrive at Coffee Day and place our usual orders. After the coffee arrives,
I ask him - "You were serious na? Your question, I mean..."
He looks at me and nods.
We pay the bill and I say I need time to think about it!
(I know! I was so mean to the poor guy and he told me he couldn't think straight for the next couple of days!)
The next 2 days, I'm furiously thinking - not sure about anything AND to top it, I avoid the poor guy!
Then, I told my sister - she was shocked that I hadn't said YES immediately... she told me that would be the best thing to happen EVER!!!
So, after that, I call him up and he is neck deep in work with some critical issue on hand!
I say - "You remember that question you asked me that day? My answer is yes!" and I hang up!!!!!!
Man, I was such an idiot!!! LOL

We met the next day, talked it over and held hands (You know, in that special way and not how we usually hold hands with friends!) and took a long walk and ate pani puri!
The feeling was so special and still is and from that day on till date - I go to sleep with a smile on my face knowing that the special feeling will never go away whatever may come... I know that he is really special and a great guy! :-)

We told our parents later on and then the formal engagement ceremony was held on an auspicious day and we were engaged with rings being exchanged etc etc with every one's blessings! :-)

This is my story, so do you have one too?

My weekend was GOOD :-)
What was extra special was - my sister's best friend had come down for a visit and he discovered a great book store and urged me to check it out. So Sunday evening, hubby and I set out and the book store is awesome! It's not like Crosswords or Landmark, its got second-hand books too and there are books by every imaginable author!
The entire first floor is lined with books, the shelves touch the roof and its overflowing with books!
*Sigh*... it was like I died and went to heaven! I picked up a couple of Agatha Christies'. I love her books - now, I have been reading her from when I was a teenager and I still haven't got bored with them - a good juicy mystery in the afternoon with a steaming mug of coffee -
bliss! :-)
Also, after battling with myself for weeks, I finally went ahead and pre-ordered my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!
Now, I don't have to go around battling Bangalore's traffic and scary crowds to get myself a copy!
Also, what's with the "young ones" now-a-days? I mean the early 20s crowd?
Most of them I saw were rude, badly behaved and have no proper manners nor are they very hygienic...
I saw some really weird types on Brigade Road on Sunday! LOL!! I was gaping around like a kid in a toy shop!
Other than that, the week has been steady - I haven't sat idle nor have i been neck-deep in work. The pace is steady and I had a discussion with my manager and he says that I will be shifted to new things. I am very excited about the change of roles and here's wishing me luck that I do it well and it goes well for me too!
Cheers to friendship, love and life! (Not necessarily in that order!)

My thoughts...

It’s really nice to see the new breed of men – who are understanding, fair and who know that their wives’ are humans too and that feelings are the same be it with a man or with a woman – injustice and harassment are things which can’t be forgiven.
It’s nice to see them standing up for their wives without any hesitancy for they have the capacity to judge what is right and what is wrong… But, sadly this new breed of men is scarce! The “need to dominate my wife” category are still the majority.

Now, what's making me say all of this and more? Here's why:

I was blog-surfing as usual and as I hopped from one blog to another - similar kind of posts caught my eye - they were either male-bashing or praising them to the skies... (Mind you, these are none of the blogs which I read regularly!)
There was no balance.
I read somewhere as to how helpful the husband was and how understanding and how well he got along with her parents etc etc... Isn't that what is actually required? I mean, if you, as a woman is expected to stretch an extra mile or 2 for your husband's family, isn't he expected to do the same? Why is it considered so great?

It made me think and I spoke to a couple of my married friends, thought about what they had to say, saw weird examples in some of my cousins' lives and here goes those thoughts:

** Once married, the girl is expected to leave everything behind her - her parents, comforts, friends, and the life she had carved for herself and adopt herself completely to her husband's life, his parents, friends etc.
Why? Can't they meet half-way? If you as a man can't let go of your parents to whom you are so grateful for their care, upbringing, health etc, why should a girl give up the same things?
** If the guy's parents are not well - she is expected to take care of them, but if her parents are not well, then why can't she take care of them? Please tell me, how different the equation is?
** The in-laws assume they have the automatic right to abuse the new girl in their house, word- bash her parents and full family and she is expected to keep quiet!
My blood boils over when I hear and see such things!!
If the lady in question takes a stand and keeps her head up high and says that you can't get away with such rubbish, then she is immediately termed as "bad",
BUT if the girl's parents dare to make the same mistake as to utter one word against the GREAT son-in-law, it is his right as a man to severe all ties with his wife's family!!
Isn't this hypocrisy at its heights and isn't the girl being subjected to harassment?
** When I discussed the same with a friend, he said as a woman you are expected to behave in a specific way and as a married woman, certain things are expected from you.
What kind of crap is that?!!!
** 1+1 is always 2, it is never anything else. So why is a woman "expected" to behave in a completely different way?
** The guy helps out the wife at home, that's something very normal for both of them – the husband and the wife, then why does the guy's mother raise such a huge cry and go around complaining to anyone who bothers to listen that the daughter-in-law doesn't do anything, but her son does!! Especially when at home, the guy's father helps out too!!!
** Why is it that her income is the "additional pocket money" which is for trivial things like "shopping”??
** What makes you think that the love she shows for the guy will make her keep quiet about any injustice that happens to her because of her in-laws?
** What happened to equal-footing and quotes like - "my wife is an individual and she can do what she wants?" - Does that mean, she can do as she pleases as long as she doesn't cross some weird line drawn by the husband?
** And what is this constant need to dominate and control the wife syndrome?? Is this due to low self-esteem? And you being the mother, another woman - how can you teach your son to "control" his wife else she will go "out of hand"??
WTF does that mean???
** If a woman is "expected" to behave in a certain way, why doesn't it hold true for a man too? Why indecent, dominant and irrational behavior is justified and why is the excuse given that because he is a man he can get away with such behavior!

All you moms out there with cute boys – please make sure that you try your best to make sure that your cute boy turns out to be a smart man who will love, support his wife and when you become an in-law remember to treat the girl with respect – only then will she learn to respect you.

All you ladies, men out there, if you have good, decent in-laws hold onto them...
It’s always a give and take equation and as the elder one in the family, its your duty to teach the youngsters about individuality, respect, space, privacy and most importantly to trust and respect your spouse…
I mean, it's our parents at home who taught us right? (Grandparents included too!)

Remember that the girl is new to all this - just as you are. A girl isn't born into this world with a Masters degree in Matrimony!

Also remember to appreciate, love your spouse and more than anything else - support them when they are right and correct them if something is wrong!

Most importantly, always remember that a relationship is fragile and once broken; the cracks will always show...

I am Back!!!

Hello to everyone in the Blog world and out of it!!! ;-)
I am back after almost 10 days of vacation and you guessed right - I am bored and sleepy!
Trying to get some work done and I checked my mails - 200 and odd of them!
Well, sadly, none of the "weird" relatives turned up and the ceremonies went on well without any hiccups except the food turned up an hour late and everyone were hungry and me hungrier than the rest since I had no breakfast!!!! ;-)
I did look kind of pretty in the silk sarees and jewellery! (that's what my friends said and friends usually say nice things and I'm such a sucker for nice things!! heh!)
Well, after everything was done and good-byes were waved to my favorite aunts and uncles and in-laws, we were just the 5 of us - me, hubby, sis, parents...
(My parents stayed for almost a week to help us settle in and look out for an apartment for my sis as her office is in the opposite direction to where we live!)
We shifted the next day and that was again chaotic which ended with my sweet-tempered and usually patient husband blowing his top on the movers-and-packers!! They arrived 4.5 hrs late and demanded extra payment!!!
Chaos has set in - I fear permanently!!!
** I am still not able to find things... everything had a designated place at our previous home, here, my toothbrush is lying on the dining table and the paste is in the bathroom!!!!
** Bathroom fixtures are yet to be put up and all our bathroom taps leak!
** It's funny really and very irritating - the plumber did come and he did replace a lot of things, so now instead of just the tap leaking, water is leaking out of the wall behind the tap since he hasn't screwed the tap on tightly!!!
** The geyser had stopped working on Saturday! We waited for the damn electrician the whole day - he didn't turn up and the next day, we re-plugged it in and now its working fine!
(Weird really!!!)
** Our front-doorbell doesn't work - it seems that the connection hasn't been given, so who ever is turning up at our door step gets a chance to beat the hell out of the door in various tunes!!
** The best part is the wind howls like crazy and the weather in Bangalore has gone all weird and cold, so with all the doors and windows closed - one can actually hear the wind howling and that's scary at night!!!!!
** Our neighbours have a weird habit of playing with their lights at the middle of the night, so with the wind howling, lights blinking - I had the scare of my life more than once!!!!
** And still NO internet at home!
**AND I fell sick!!! (Change of weather, lots of stress, etc etc)
All said and done - I love our new place! Enjoying it and still chaos reigns.
A very experienced friend of mine said that it will take a month or more to get into an established routine and I am already waiting for that day to arrive
Will post some pics once my friend sends me some of the pics, its all there in her camera and she hasn't found the time to transfer it to her PC and send them to me! :)
I still have to read all my favorite blogs and I'm lagging behind on all my work! (Which is bound to happen if I'm blogging and surfing the Internet on my first day back in the office!!)

Edited to add: Rayshma reminded me that I had forgotten to add THE most important part - the Gifts!! So, here's the list:
** A maroon 3 ft tall Flower Vase from my best friend because I love having flowers in all the rooms in the house!
** A pair of silver lamps for the God's room
** Lord Ganesha and Goddess Saraswathi in Silver
** Cash from my favorite aunts, grandma
** Tulsi plant, Lord Krishna's idol from my parents
** 2 wall clocks
** A dinner set in glass (you know the kind which is actually glass and not crystal)
** A set of dessert bowls in crystal
** Cash from various other relatives
** A tray and 2 bronze horses (I am confused about this gift and we are yet to figure out what it is...)
** Lord Ganesha Idols... (I think we received 3 of them! I have so many now!! I love it!
Laughing Buddha and Lord Ganesha Idols fill my home! :) )
** Various other trinkets for the kitchen like tea, coffee, sugar holders, salt and pepper holders...

That's the list! I think I have remembered to mention everything!
That felt good too!!! :)
Thanks Rayshma!